I would see Dogecoin at $1000 each in the mirror of erised. Greed is good.

4 and 3 coming up! So close to the end!

"Falling in love is so bittersweet, this love is strong why do I feel weak?"




4. How Will I Know? by Whitney Houston

"Just an urchin living under the street, I'm a hard case that's tough to beat"



3. Paradise City by Guns N Roses

4. Some might say that Whitney Houston was the 80s version of Carley Rae Jepsen. Those some are me, myself and your mom. It’s really the other way around, and that direct influence is what rocketed How Will I Know way up the charts right down to the saxophone solo to close the song. I never thought of myself as a Whitney fan, finding I Will Always Love You corny and Dance With Somebody even cornier. She definitely has some gems though, only recently discovered by this guy. Also such a babe in the video!

3. Guns N Roses were 45 minutes late when I saw them at the Louder than Life festival in 2019, The Year Before, and they didn’t play Paradise City until the very end of a 3 hour set. Gawd dammit it was all worth it! This song has to have one of the coolest intros of all time, first with the guitar fading in, then a soft chorus, then we hit the mofuggin guitar riff. It’s a near transcendent music experience if such a thing exists! Really tough to not have this as #1, and also a shame I left it off by greatest of all time. That will be amended next go around!


Only two more?? How does time move so fast - said everyone who was born and/or lived and/or died in the 80s!

Whitney missed top 3..ugh now I don't want to dance with anybody.

Endings are both remorseful and fulfilling. So therefore let's just get on with it and maybe cry later?


We've had 48 amazing songs come and go. Will the last challenger be able to stop the inevitable?


The answer is ... no.

"And I feel like I'm being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes"




2. Lullaby by The Cure

2. The Cure got a little miffed at my comment about The Smith’s being the most emo band of the 80s. I stick by it though! The Cure are definitely very emo, but there’s also a major gothic fantasy element to them which is actually hopeful. Robert Smith isn’t just a guy hanging out in his room writing in his diary. He is trying to sleep, but is unable to escape from this nightmare. The Spiderman probably represents drug withdrawal, like most things do, but even taken literally, Lullaby is a helluva trip. That fucking guitar riff is what haunts my dreams, but in the best way possible! If I was into gay furries then I’d absolutely let the spiderman eat me for dinner.




And now, to quote a very not-80s band

DEVASTATION WILL REIGN

"Blood! running red and strong down the nile, Plague! darkness three days long hail to fire"



1. Creeping Death by Metallica

-Yep, even with their top two songs (One and Bell) off the board, Metallica still take #1. They dominated the 80s that hard. James Hetfield and the boys take on the role of the Plagues of Egypt in Creeping Death. Actions have consequences, even for the mightiest of pharaohs. No man could possibly stand against the sonic tidal waves that Metallica create everytime they step inside the studio (or, even better, in front of a live audience!) Kirk Hammond’s guitar leads the way, both with switching riffs and excellent solos. Lars’ drums keep it marching on and Cliff Burton is in his finest form just a few years before his tragic passing. The song is just so damn epic, I can listen to it over and over despite the six and half minute length. I’ll also never forget the way we reacted during the live show, being background singers and shouting DIE to our oppressors at all the right parts during the bridge. Just as there was no stopping Moses from leading the hebrews out of Egypt, there was nothing stopping Metallica from claiming #1 on anything related to the 80s. They are just that damn awesome.


"I rule the midnight air, the Destroyer!"

The full countdown!

1. Creeping Death - Metallica
2. Lullaby - The Cure
3. Paradise City - Guns N Roses
4. How Will I Know - Whitney Houston
5. Where Is My Mind? - Pixies
6. High Plains Drifter - Beastie Boys
7. Rebel Without A Pause - Public Enemy
8. I Ran - A Flock Of Seagulls
9. Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
10. Sin - Nine Inch Nails
11. Anxiety - Pat Benetar
12. Shoot To Thrill - ACDC
13. It’s Tricky - Run DMC
14. Raining Blood - Slayer
15. I Wont Back Down - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
16. Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue
17. Paid In Full - Eric B and Rakim
18. In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
19. Gangsta Gangsta - NWA
20. Invisible Touch - Genesis
21. Rock the Casbah - The Clash
22. Limelight - Rush
23. When You Were Mine - Prince
24. Twilight Zone - Golden Earring
25. Panama - Van Halen
26. And She Was - Talking Heads
27. Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions
28. Push It - Salt N Pepa
29. Whip It - Devo
30. The Final Countdown - Europe
31. Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
32. How Soon Is Now - The Smiths
33. Red Red Wine - UB40
34. Blister in the Sun - Violent Femmes
35. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne
36. Epic - Faith No More
37. Lets Groove - Earth, Wind and Fire
38. Heart of Rock n Roll - Huey Lewis and The News
39. She Sells Sanctuary - The Cult
40. Superfreak - Rick James
41. The Warrior - Scandal
42. Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2
43. You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi
44. Blue Monday - New Order
45. Pet Sematary - Ramones
46. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
47. Love Shack - The B-52s
48. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
49. Come On Eileen - Dextrys Midnight Rumors
50. Word Up - Cameo



Hope you enjoyed yourself! The Flava'd Fifty will return in December! Unless I get got by the Delta Variant that is...

Also, some close calls, in no particular order and I don't feel like even writing the artist name out so you'll have to guess.

Start Me Up
Glory Days
Ghostbusters
Suffer
Beverly Hills Cop
Never Gonna Give You Up
Shout
Party All The Time
Safety Dance
Danger Zone
Dont Stop Believin
Time After Time
Take On Me
One Step Beyond

Nice list, but the #1 is perhaps my least favorite of all of them.

Rules for my list

- One song per artist
- No deep cuts - must be a hit or one that became a signature song for them later

Top 60 since I was having trouble with the cutoff at 50



60. Dolly Parton - 9 to 5

I don’t know much Dolly songs other than this, Jolene, and the original version of I Will Always Love You but this is a fun song and a good song to hear at work much like Manic Monday (not eligible cause I have a different Bangles song)



59. The Pixies - Where Is My Mind

Unsurprisingly I first heard this during its excellent usage in Fight Club. My favorite Pixies song is Velouria but it’s not eligible.



58. Joan Jett - I Love Rock and Roll

This song has been hurt by overuse plus it reminds me of an unfortunate Eminem version, however it’s still iconic.



57. Men At Work - Down Under

This has a cool vibe that feels exotic and 80s, I always liked the line about the sandwich.



56. Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane

8 simple but badass words... HERE I AM. ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE.

55. Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra

A groovy song that uses the magic sexual metaphor well.



54. Dexys Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

Flava covered it, but the key to this song for me is the very nice violins.



53. John Fogerty - Centerfield

Gives an optimistic feeling of getting back onto the field, a metaphor that can be used in many situations. Put me in coach... I’m ready to play!



52. Billy Joel - You May Be Right

I like the idea of a “lunatic may just be what you’re looking for”. My favorite Joel song of the 80s is Goodnight Saigon, but ruled it ineligible due to not being a hit enough.



51. Nena - 99 Red Balloons

I don’t know whether to put the German or English version here, either way it’s a nice song that tells a Cold War allegory from an innocent perspective and catchy in either language.

Steve Miller would have place on a 70s list for me but can’t say I’m too familiar with his later work. Will have to check it out!

Fair enough! Metallica isn’t for everyone, but when they click they click hard.

I’m one of the non-Metallica fans who would have put them on my list if the Black Album was released 2 years earlier. They also seem like they’ve aged pretty decent, I like some recent ish songs like Hardwire and Now That We’re dead

50. Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time

I like this, True Colours, and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun about the same, but I’ll go with this one for the emotion and thoughts about time.



49. J Geils Band - Centerfold

Flirts with being ruined due to overplayage, but the guitar and na na part is catchy and has to be the best song about someone reading playboy and seeing their high school girlfriend in it.



48. Toni Basil - Hey Mickey

Classic cheerleading song that just feels fun. The vocal performance is great helping it feel like a real crush.





47. Toto - Africa

This song will test your cynicism for a variety of reasons, but I have always found it a very easy listen.





46. Midnight Oil - Beds are Burning

I find the chorus to this Australian woke song to be massive, the verses a little worse but good enough.




45. John Parr - St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)

Way better than a song written for and sharing the name of the Joel Schumacher teen movie had any right to be, and very inspiring.

Nothing else Matters?

Probably Unforgiven or Enter Sandman

Some epic songs on Shack's list so far, 57, 54, 51, 50 all rule and several others are great too.

44. Alannah Myles - Black Velvet

I have always liked this song due to the great vocal performance by Myles that’s both sexy/powerful. I didn’t know it was about Elvis.



43. Bananarama - Cruel Summer

Sorry Taylor, but this is still the best Cruel Summer with a classic 80s beat and a good dumped song.



42. Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I really like the concept of this song much like John Cusack “I want to get hurt” in Say Anything. You’re a real tough cookie with a long history of breaking little hearts like the one in me, is a great line.



41. Peter Gabriel - Big Time

I like several Gabriel songs from the 80s, but I’ll go with this one satirizing someone who’s ego is blowing out of control cause they thinking they’re making it it in the business or Hollywood.



40. Twisted Sister - We’re Not Gonna Take It

A classic anthem with a concept that endures. We’re not gonna take it!

39. Prince - 1999



A unique apocalyptic song with some great lines like "I was dreamin' when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast", and the synths worm into your brain. I like the multiple voices though I think it would have been funny if the other male was just Prince doing a weird voice like when he plays all the instruments on a song.



38. Heart - Alone

A terrific female power ballad, listening to this helps me understand what a girl in the 80s felt like when listening to one of the male bands sang one. It also gave birth to my favorite American Idol performance by Carrie.



37. Madonna - Like a Prayer

I'm not a big Madonna fan but I think this is her best work, I can't really tell if it's about oral, religion or just a relationship but that's perfect for her.



36. The Bangles - Eternal Flame

Excellent love song and the eternal flame metaphor works for me. I found this one of the sexist videos when I was a kid.



35. The Highwaymen - Highwayman

This supergroup song about reincarnated highwayman is pretty badass, Cash closing it out with the starship verse is perfect.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot will probably my go back to being my favorite PB song next month lol.

34. Belinda Carlisle - Heaven is a Place on Earth

While she has several solid songs as lead singer of the Go Gos, I think her solo hit is better than any of them, it's a perfect 80s pop track. They say in heaven, love comes first.



33. Yaz - Only You

I didn't know this band (are they Yaz or Yazoo?) but heard this song on a tv show and have been a fan of it since, another excellent romantic song from the 80s.



32. Neil Young - Rockin' in the Free World

A middle aged Neil Young comes in hot in this one with his usual activist style combined with sarcasm in the rockin in the free world line. From the opening guitar this song just rocks.



31. Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms

A excellent sombre war veteran song, Mark Knopfler is known for his guitar playing but his vocal performance is great here. Someday you'll return to your valleys and farms...



30. U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday

Another fiery song like Rockin in the Free World, the drums are really excellent in this in addition to the Edge's usual good work and the song's historical themes is great for U2.

Man the intensity of this grouping escalated in a hurry... I think Bono just killed someone with a trident.