this joke I got from my merine (spl)? friend Shaun in Japan.




A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months,
>yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
>One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she
sat
by
>him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been
with
>me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to
support
>me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you
were by
>my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my
health
>started failing, you were still by my side..... You know what?"
>
>"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill
with
>warmth.
>
>"I think you're bad luck, get the fuck away from me."

:lol: Pretty good.. :wink:

it is a pretty good joke.

This is a funny/stupid joke you can use and insert any of your friends names.

Friend A, B and C were all in a jaccuzzi. Friend A sees a condom floating and asks "who farted?".

ok, i apologize in advance if this offends anyone.

a black guy and a mexican are in the same car.....who's driving?























A: A Police Officer

i posted this before!

What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
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A Michael Jackson slumber party.

LMAO good one!!

lol!!, i love Michael Jackson Jokes

Why does Michael Jackson scream?
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Because it hurts.

what does a vampire use an old tampon for?

























a teabag

When You Stand on top of the Westwood Hills, what do you see?

UCLA (You See LA).

A man is walking along down the beach on a sunny day in California.
Suddenly clouds fill the sky and a deep voice thunders from the heavens.

John, this is God. Because you are a humble and righteous man I will allow you one earthly desire that you want.

The man replies, "I would like a bridge to Hawaii, so I could drive there for vacation whenever I wanted to."

I could do that, John, but it would require tremendous resources. The pilings deep in the Pacific Ocean alone would deplete huge amounts of raw material. But for your sake, I will do this. However, is there something else you might want that would be less difficult?

John says, "Well, Lord, I've always wanted to know what women think. I want to know why my wife cries sometimes for no reason at all. I want to know what is really bothering her when she says 'Nothing' but I know there is. I want to know why her mood changes suddenly and how to buy her a gift on special occassions that she really wants."

And God said:
DO YOU WANT THAT BRIDGE TO BE TWO-LANE OR FOUR LANE?

what's white and in a little boy's pants?


























michael jackson's hand

What did the police man say to his tummy?

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Youre under a vest!

lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao lmfao

wow!! hehe!.......................

Here are three more Michael Jackson jokes.

What are Michael Jackson's favorite movies?
Riding in Cars with Boys and In the Bedroom.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite song?
Sometimes When We Touch.

When is it bedtime in Neverland?
When the Big Hand touches the Little Hand.

What do you call a girl who hangs on your front door during Christmas?





Aretha.

Thats actually kinda harsh, Considering some of these kids were actually abused sexually.

A little funny nonetheless :wink:

What is the difference between Fungi and Portland Oregan.

Fungi has more culture.

How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?

Tostitos.

ok, once again i apologize in advance if this offends anyone.


how do you get 5 black guys to stop raping a white girl?



























toss 'em a basketball

This is one of the greatest jokes I've ever heard, and it's from Family Guy:

"Why do women have boobs?"







"So we got something to stare at while we're talking to em"




HEHE It was SO funny when Peter said it to his female coworker.

Patient: I don't know what's wrong with me Doctor? All the sudden, I feel like a deck of cards.

Doctor: Okay, go take a seat over there and we will deal with you later.

All the toilets at the police station have been stolen......



...... Police say theyve nothing to go on!

lol

Dad: How did you do on your test?
Kid: I got one question wrong.
Dad: That's great. That means you got the rest of them right.
Kid: No, I didn't even attempt to answer them.



Baker: For this dish, I need 3 eggs, two cups of milk, tablespoon of pepper, and a cup of rice.

Guy: That's interesting, but with these ingredents, what exactly are you making?

Baker: $7.50 an hour.

What do you call Superheroes that you can't eat?




















The Inedibles.