Her song is better than Hilary Duff's, Ashlee Simpson and Ms Lohan music combined.

However I;m waiting for Mary-Kate's "The fucking slut stole my man" and "I just had a meatball"

I will have you know that those are excellent songs.

I think id pay to see Paris Hilton fight Mary Kate Olsen.

Only like, $2.50, but I'd still pay.


Twigfights are awesome, didn't you guys SEE The Blair Witch Project?

*sigh* No you can't have my ass. If you don't stop phoning me im going to have to get the police involved. Snrub told me what you did to him.

Hay, I love Mary Kate.

But I love Paris even more.

Vagina Ling infected with Nick Carter!

Vagina "Bai" Ling is set to marry Nick Carter according to the unbelivably reliable Teen Hollywood; a website that knows my needs and caters for them with whoores and Jessica Simpson diet tips. Because if your fatter than Nicole Ritchie when your 12; then your going to be OBESE by the time your 21, bitch!




When Vagina says "My boyfriend is a godsend. I didn't need any reasons to like him and I am willing to do anything for him" what she means is - "Dude is paying me like a Los Angeles prostitute! I don't tell him that because im an Asian whoore my fees are a lot lower; but you know what - I don't even feel badly about it. He gives me $125 an hour and I give him a world of STDs like he couldn't imagine!"

When Vagina says "I have to give my love to him" what she means is "Everytime I try to give him the gift of songhe starts weeping...im sure with joy, our love is almost as thick as his load when NSYNC songs play over our tantric sessions.".

Im guessing what really happened here is that Bai Ling walked in on Nick Carter doing the nasty with Justin Timberlake and then he bribed Bai with marriage. Although why anyone would want to marry Prick Carter is beyond me. Maybe he poops golden nuggets. Or maybe he poops dildoes. Either way it's pretty much eureka for Vagina Ling.

That crazy Vagina, I can't wait to see what other wonders she pulls off with the entracing wiff of septic genetalia next!

Titney is a sexy bookworm!

I love me some Britney. Finally, the woman who'll be winning a Nobel Prize [in the field of living with Kevin Federline] emerged once again; this time to buy some sexy, sexy lingerie at Victorias Secret.

It's only the second time that Spears has been seen out since the birth of Sean Preston, who im sure is very much angelic and will one day have to save the world from the wrath of TomKat's antichrist with an infectious blend of rockpop and a gilmmering, veneer enhanced smile. Or he could just fire the S.T.I's he inhertied from Papa. Either way hes going to whup some antichrist ass.

Britney, Ashlee Simpson's new album is titled "I Am Me", is yours titled "I am a sexy geek" ? or is it "I am the wife of a fucking retarded face who i shall stab to death with the tounge on the doll of my arch nemesis, Christina Pumpkinboobuleria" because I don't really care; the only thing i care about is that your hot again, in a kind of well rounded bookworm kind of way. And that makes my weiner very happy. Because when im at the library, the old librarian eats MY bookworm.



Although im not really sure if my brain can proccess the element of these images that says "Britney Spears Is a big, cuddly cutiepie!" because
a) I usually vomit when i hear the word "cutiepie"
and
b) This is one of the very few pictures where Britney Spears is fully clothed.
c) The medias mental conditioning of me has programmed me to automatically look for skankiness in every Britney Spears picture.

SECOND IMAGE HERE.

Aunt Horsery Duff has a kind heart, but big assed teeth!

Im suddenly thrown into doubt of Hilary Duff's affilition with Satan[Libs] by this news: Hilary Duff is hosting a one-hour television special this holiday season called Dear Santa. Youngster Hannah Gorecki, wrote a letter to Santa this year and Horseface helps grant the darling her wish, because needy and poor kids are always more deserving that starving kids dying of aids.


I can't really be nasty, its all too sweet.

Duff, who recently wrote "I am on the cover [of CosmoGirl]. Yes... you'll see my face on newsstands!" as though that was a good thing, went on to answer questions from fans. The highlight being



That sneaky bitch! She's practically forcing that kid to manipulate her parents into giving her a phone! Hilary should know that phones can be dangerous things for underaged girls; especially when its Lindsay Lohan trying to seduce you on the other end under the impression that its your gay boyfriendon the line. I wonder if Hilary was obeying her parents when she became a stick monster from the "Blair Witch Project", if so- then I don't think her parents are very good parents at all.

Thanks to the always great Just Jared for the tip.

make fun of her.

Bai Ling is a vagina shaped prostitute!

So Vagina Ling, it seems, has turned out to be the best person ever and a generally wonderful example of what not to do with your life. For if her ear exploding performance of "Like a Virgin" wasn't bad enough on Vh1's "But Can They Sing", then
this weeks audible delight of Blondies "Call Me" will probably make your head explode.

Explode your eardrums at the fabulous Dlisted now [Audio]
Catch an STD from your computer at VH1 now. [Video]

We can't be too hard on her, since shes a giant singing Vagina and all, but this shit is fucking hillarious. Even vaginas shouldn't go out dressed like Madonna. She can't even run properly, but then again, Giant Vaginas always did have kind of stubby legs. This one time, I saw a giant vagina, and it had stubby legs like teh munchikins.

But the funniest shit is seeing her try to flip her golden wig. She looks like shes going to explode like a fembot! The lovely Bai is trying so hard to dance that she almost just shuts her mouth and falls over.

Well, we can all dream.

By the way, Vote for Bai to stay!!, because some people like losing their ability to hear, see, speak, and get an erection!

Los Angeles police are investigating a car crash and traffic stop involving heiress Paris Hilton to determine if officers allowed her friend to drive while drunk, a police spokeswoman said on Wednesday.
A videotape released by celebrity Web site http://www.TMZ.com shows what appears to be Hilton's companion, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, slamming a Bentley into the back of a truck as the couple left a Hollywood nightclub early Wednesday with at least two other people.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051110/people_nm/hilton_dc

What a dumbass

Yeah. Saw that.
It was as exciting as chewing a boring brick.
The dude was driving with his jacket over his fucking head, what did he expect?

What's up with PAris Hilton and Greek shipping heirs?

I dont know. But i miss Paris Latsis.
He made me feel like a real Lord.

She doesn't look vagina shaped to me.

Thats becuz u r stupid n jealous.

Sharon Osbourne hates herself.

I guess Sharon Osbourne forgot that shes had more plastic surgery than the crew of an unfortunate spaceship accident when she slammed Madonna for changing her style all the time. I like Sharon, shes a crazy bitch who thinks its okay to let her kids be so fucking ugly and be pictured as such; but she sure does like her nasty assed rants towards richer and more succesful people who hold terrifying similarities to her. I think its Sharon crying out that she wishes she could dance just like Madonna, who dances like a giant puggleby the way.

Did i tell you guys that everyone in my dance class was always like "Where did you learn your sexy moves, you dance just like teh Madonna!?" and i was all like. My little secret. Well i probobly should charge you for this tip - but its one on me - I buy lots of little puggles and make them dance by threatening them with images of Sharon Osbourne's dog, Kelly. Then i closely study the dancing techniques before selling them on Ebay to China.



Oh and by the way ive substituted the bleeped out words with fun phrases that you can mostly use in front of your mother, whos eyes are watering because you just punched her in the face but shes desperate for her daily fix of disgusting nastyness. Mostly.

Is Eddie Murphy transitioning from the list of Hollywood Celebs widely rumoured to be gay or bisexual [John Travolta, Diddy, Tom Cruise et all] to the "one that got caught with hits pants down and his penis in another dudes butt?"

Well here goes the saga.

Jonny Gill from New Edition split from his wife late in the summer. She claimed she couldnt compete with the "wierd" relationship he had with Eddie Murphy.

“Johnny and I broke up earlier this year after I became curious about his friendship/relationship with actor/comedian Eddie Murphy,” she said. “Johnny and Eddie have always been very close friends, but I could not compete with their relationship. It was strange...I can’t even explain it,” she tell Atlanta Gossip. Apparently, Eddie Murphys wife is citing similar stories to her closest; but the divorce between the couple has been filed under different reasons for Hollywood Courtesy.

Okay. So a September rumour spawned from a suspicious ex and those mysterious "sources" that probobly dont exist? Eh...

Well Eddie was actually stopped with a now dead transexual hooker before in his car one night. He claimed he was just driving her home out of "being a good samaritan" And now new images have been released showing Eddie and Jonny walking nearly hand in hand down LA.

The most conclusive evidence though, is the tale that Eddie Murphy had sex with Mariah Carey at the VMAs.

So this vast conspiracy as to the divorcing of two male stars who have a very close relationship tells us this...

If your going to Hollywood; at least have a good PR manager who can let you enjoy buttsex without the world knowing about it. Whats that? Hollywood is sending out the wrong message by concealing and being ashamed of homosexuality? Well, you know - Hollywoods only an exagerated reflection of society. Theres a reason no ones jumped to cast Rupert Everett as an action hero, or any of the Queer As Folk cast in....well...anything. Its because our society is sick and men are insecure with their role if its "undermined" by the breach of homosexuality. Something that is more associated with women; who also secretly have prejudice towards gay men because you know, for every hot gay on the scene theres one less hot guy. So who can we really blame for the closet conspiracy? Well...we can blame you.

P.S It would do a certain action star well to stop hitting on every guy who comes on set to his movies [whos name i shall withold.] I'm just looking out for the dudes poor PR person - bitch must be having a meltdown on a daily basis.

In other, non homosexual celebrity related news -
Jennfier Garner is ready to pop at any time. Her due date is today and her belly is so huge that rosie o donnell would struggle to eclipse her if they profiled together.

Queen Latifah's new film, "The Last Holiday" is a romantic comedy about a woman with 3 weeks to live who heads on the trip of her life to live her biggest dreams out. The 2006 version is a remake of the 1950 film of the same name which starred Sir Alec Guiness.
The poster....


Should actually probobly just be redone with some small changes.


The entire poster proves that, once again, all middle or working class people's singular goal in life is to be rich and therefore happy. The entire ludicrous film involves this woman living out her "dreams" of granduer that somehow improve her life. As opposed to riches suddenly making life more difficult and stressfull. The poster should have went one step further, made the dumpy, poor Latifah really obese and made the very happy, fabulous and rich Latifah very skinny. Then they should have made the rich one white too; because if this posters going to allude to offensive things to start with it might as well go the whole ten yards and confront everything thats wrong with it in a more obvious way.

There is nothing funny here. I just get pissed with this kind of poster.

Wait, did you make the changes? If so, that's some excellent craftsmanship.


I'm honestly impressed.

yes. I signed a deal with the devil [libs] and she granted me 7 wishes. A mediocre photoshop artist from hell whos work i could claim as my own was one of them. Boy does he get hungry.

Jonny Gill, Eddie can do much better.

Is your PS referring to Colin Ferrell

^No. But hes pretty much bisexual im sure.

Who's the action star then?

Hints, Hints.