LMAO this picture is sure a classic

Kelly doesnt looks THAT bad

its her "Holy shit mom you just knocked down a paparazzo im getting in SOO MUCH SHIT FOR THIS" look.
Seriously, Its a picture taken after Spears' mother mowed one down.

P.S - Those images of Britney Spears looking hot and skinny again? Well despite most of the media finally being nice to the girl; some reporters [surprise surprise, British ones] have decided that those pictures clearly depicted Britney's "deteriorating relationship" with Kevin Federline.

Because nothing says "We're breaking up" like sunglasses...or something. Other tabloids claim the pictures may show a svelte Spears - but its also clear that shes deep in post partum depression.

Right.

Is that the Lemony Snicket girl in your avatar?

No its a San Fransiscan harp player, singer and songwriter called Joanna Newsom. Her voice is an aquirred taste but her music is beautiful.

... she kinda looks like the girl from Lemony Snicket.

You n00b you.

Paris Hilton makes this column easy
I should really pick on her more. I mean everyone seems to hate her, shes a general parasite and she dosen't actually do anything apart from trademark phrases that no one really uses. Another reason to make fun of Paris Hilton is the fact that she has a saggy, flat ass, as is shown in this Not Safe For Work [NSFW] picture.

Image: [1]
Provided by Dlisted

Be warned.....wait, click it first. Have you clicked it? Seriously I think you should click it straight away. Honestly it's just Paris Hilton being her. Clicked it? Good.

Be warned the image above may burn a large and radioactive spot onto your eyeball. Because to be honest; theres not really any time of the day where Paris Hiltons naked body becomes anything but a giant plank of terribly unsexy wood. Not quite as appealing as the commercialmakes it out to be, is it Little Jimmy? Kind of like when you see this totally cute asian wife on ebay and when it falls out of the box on arrival its not only not nearly as sexy as it appeared on the item description; but it's damaged. [dead, traumatised, decapitated are all ones that mines have arrived in, dont buy from $2.99 Whoores cause if your going to be cheap about it you've got to expect a little wear and tear in transit]

Then your ass is stuck with having to pay for incineration. And that shit is expensive so I just usually do it myself. It's like one of those hidden fees they don't tell you about.

Hhehehe! she has a really tiny bum!

She's more attractive with skimpy clothes on than she is while completely naked.

Ew.

HAHA! what the hell is that?!?!

I'd say her saggy box ass. I mean, now im blind the image is pretty much the last thing i saw so i can remember it pretty well.

While that's not the best ass I've ever seen, it's definitely not the worst; I may hate Paris Hilton, but i think it's cruel how the public jumps on little defects such as this and blows them out of proportion...If more than 60% of the posters here with girlfriends can HONESTLY say their girlfriend has a better ass than that, then maybe i could consider your point valid

Oh that Paris!

You clearly don't get celebrity hating.

P.S My girlfriend has a better ass than that. You can see her carrying my child in the new season of Alias on ABC.

I'm locking this thread. Someone insulted Paris.

By the way theres a new picture of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner out and about.

She = HUGE.
He = Has suddenly become a spitting image of Morgan Spurlock, and his muscle mass makes me generally feel inadequate.

A dangerous game you play

Nicole Ritchie attacked by Parasite

At the premiere of a movie shes apparently starring in, [which I'm sure is a high quality event picture that you're all very very excited about] Nicole Ritchie unleashed a bold new style onto the red carpet sure to be replicated by countless other Nicole Ritchie Wannabes all over the world. That'd be Kimberly Fugart then.

Yes Nicole decided to step out with the "Oh fuck,theres a giant, fuzzy Parasite on my shoulder, get it off, GET IT OFF!"look which according to Beatrude Gertice, the fashion critic in my head, is sure to become the affordable fashion accesory to have this fall. Because If you camp out next to a dumpster long enough, either a rat or Paris Hilton are likely to appear. The rest is left to your ability to hunt which you learnt from that creepy cousin who you were pretty sure kept making moon eyes at you at your school disco. Then you made out because lets face it, you weren't getting any other action that night.

I don't really know Nicole Ritchie. I've never been to her house either. But im guessing that Nicole Ritchie has a shortage of mirrors in a 12 mile radius of wherever it is that she dresses. Which is okay by me because I like women who aren't vain like Nicole Ritchie and Bai Ling. I'm sure those contact lenses are just because she has trouble seeing. I'm also sure that her thick makeup is totally to like, protect her skin from camera exposure or something. The overpriced and ugly dress? Im guessing it's some sort of shield incase soemone tries to fling food at her . But judging by her facial expression, that Parasite is giving her some nasty chaffing. But then again she's used to nasty chaffing. The chaffing of a pencil tip on her body. What? It's an easy mistake to make damnit!

Paris Hilton isn't a fan of subtlty.


It's shocking to think; but Paris Hilton has trouble with the concept of subtlty.
This Video of Miss Hilton sees her having a private, intimate conversation on her phone with one of her close friends. Poor Paris must have forgotten that there was a massive crowd of photographers and an army of skanks around her because she started insulting someone on the phone right infront of everyone! Like some sort of brazen exhibitionist! Next thing she'll be taking off her clothes and doing something obscene like having sex ....on video!

Anyway, I know it was naughty but I decided to eavesdrop on Paris' little phone conversation. I had to listen really hard because it's not like she was shouting or anything.

All I could really make out was....



I have no idea at all who this mystery woman is, but since I trust Paris im going to say shes not a very nice person. Gosh it must be mighty embarrasing for her that everyone heard her phone conversation. I feel really badly about listening in, I do. I wonder how Nicole Ritchies hanging in there. I heard that shes a jealous, ugly anorexic idiot and shes pathetic and someone wants to kill her! But who?

Surprise! Your neighbours are aliens!

Tom AnalCruiser and Katie SnaggleTooth Holmes are expected to announce that the beginning of the end of the world will start in Toeldo, Ohio as opposed to the previous hot favourite of Madonna's Household. Snaggletooth's Ohio birthplace is one of the locations the <strike>contractually bound partners</strike> maldly in love sweethearts are looking at to raise their darling little antichrist.



If your in Toledo, Ohio, you can expect an increased amount of extra-terrestrial traffic over the next four year period. Sex shop owners better get stocking up the dildos, condoms and anal lube because when tomkat move in theres going to be frequent male celebrity visits. Also you might notice your beloved undead relatives rising up and doing the dance to "Thriller". It's all to be expected. At the end of the four year "induction" phase, you should all have built some solid bomb shelters with a lifetimes supply of everything because a giant spaceship will actually just land right there ontop of your pretty little pansies and begin a global invasion of soul purging lead by a Tom Cruise Effigy Monster and the Antichrist.

The really important question here is...


Will Xenu be the child's godfather?

Mel Gibson in Saddam conspiracy!

I'm pretty sure this picture proves what we've all been suspecting - Mel Gibson is involved in some kind of superfiendishical plot to free Saddam Huessin by replacing Saddam in a top secret operation [with the help of Jack Bauer and Sydney Bristow] with himself and facing the humiliation, torture and subsequent death of being put to trial in Iraq. Whilst Saddam can go on and film Lethal Weapon 23 and in due time take over the world, one dumb blonde actress at a time. I always knew that Mel Gibson was one freaky sadomasochistic Saddam lurver. Some celebrities just like to take things too far sometimes. Like when Jennifer Lopez takes being a bitch too far, or when Star Jones takes being a fatass peice of human excrement too far. Actually I blame Star Jones for this Saddam conspiracy shit. But I also blame her for things like H.I.V and that bitch Eve giving Adam the damn apple.

In random other celebrity news


Kim Catrall claims that shes not the godmother of Britneys baby - but said "I think it started because I played her mother in the film. I am not the godmother of her child. It put a smile on my face when I heard the rumour because I like her very much" *cough* lesbian*cough. Two women can't like each other. They either hate ot LOVE.

Britney Spears' baby picture rights said to have went for $3m to People Magazine, ousting OK! and its $2m bid. Spear's rep claims the singers donating it to charity. Which further proves the point that Britney Spears clearly does not have a "cash flow problem" which is the most ludicrous thing ever. She got paid $90m for a Pepsi campaign for gods sake.

Aaron Carter is a 12 year old chick.


Ever vomitted so hard that you had to hold your eyeballs in incase they popped out and/or your head exploded? Of course you have, you just saw the above picture!

I can imagine Aaron Carter's MySpace profile is likely to have two warning signs before entry

"WARNING, EPILEPTICS ADVISED AGAINST VIEWING THIS WEBPAGE" because if the flashing pink background won't set off a fit, then im pretty sure the "Totally Awesome" floating hearts will.

and of course...
"WARNING, THE PROFILE YOUR ABOUT TO VIEW MAY CONTAIN CONTENT OF A DOUCHEHEADED NATURE. AARON CARTER IS A DOUCHE AND WE STRONGLY ADVISE ALL USERS TO TURN BACK AND VISIT LINDSAY LOHANS PROFILE. AND WE DON'T USUALLY DIRECT PEOPLE HER WAY BECAUSE WE AREN'T BIG FANS OF PROSTITUTION."

Courtney Love hates my eyes.

If I ever met Courtney Love, I'd politely seperate her from the needle and kindly ask her what my eyes ever did to her? Hmm? They were just innocently wondering over my next door neighbours body once in a while. Maybe even indulging in some magazine peeping. Nothing abnormal. Yet Courtney Love went right on ahead and just took those little old eyeballs and poured naked body acid all over them.

If I even have to ask myself If I want to see Courtney Love's naked body then I'd know I should start writing the letter and buying the pills ; because I've become such a disgusting urchin that my presence on earth shall only threaten the purity of humanity. It's like ethnic cleansing, just on me. But im a scientology alien anyway so when I die i'll go to the giant volcano where Xenu will be waiting. Or something [I've not paid enough yet to actually know what happens when I die, but making it up is fun!]

Anywhoo. I'd strongly suggest that you place on some kind of sun visors and then actually just tape your eyelids over your eyeballs before you continue. Seriously I really insist you do. Come on now, taped yet? Can you see? CHOCOLATE FLAVOURED ASSBAG! Good.

*SIGH* If you really, truly want the torture then click read more..

IMAGES: HERE
I'm pretty sure Courtney Love has totally great reasons for getting naked and writhing her out of shape body all over a pole - but out of all the ones I can think of, none involve "fresh air" or "sensibility" and all involve "crack" and "being a fat stupid whale".


On that note, its pretty sad that the 100th post on The Deli is about Courtney Love and the community living inside her fat rolls. But whatever.

Christina Aguilera has her some pumpkin titties!
[image]
Christina gets a feel for the surgeons recommendation.]

[image]
"No sissy titties for me! I want this bad boy!" She exclaims as she picks up the Jordan sized implant.

You can get implants like Christina Aguilera's at BigPumpkinBoobs.com [Pleze use our reffeerere link so we can get 2 boobs for da price of 1!]
I must say, I'm a little traumatised. I'm pretty sure that you can see Christina Aguilera's....skin :O Maybe she strolled through an industrial strength carwash on accident or bathed in kryptonite or something. But it's nice to know that something is actually inside that shell. Suffice to say she looks somewhat different from this