Garner Inadvertently Reveals Baby's Sex

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050928/ap_ ... er_affleck


LOL i don't care bout the story, but O_o look how big them twins have gotten. w00t! finally the girl has tits.

People were talking about this in class today. Who knew that an AMERICAN tv show that dosent even show live here with an actress whos profile 2 years ago here was non existent would be talked about in normal conversations in the UK so soon. Itz bizarre. Apparently this stuff was on GMTV here this morning. I never thought id see the day where Garner becomes a global household name.

Shes so cute.

Jennifer Garner to grace world with female angel!

Theres nothing bad I can say about Jennifer Garner. At all. Even if I try really hard. Shes pretty, sexy, intelligent, powerful, ambitious, built, charismatic and talented; and Alias [Premieres Thursday] is actually the best show in the history of television. Easily. The norm in this case is to make fun of someone the said Perfect Star associates with. That'd be Ben Affleck then. Nope. Not going to rag on him either. Sure he's a pretty crappy actor - but Jennifer Lopez; also known in some cultures as "El Diablo" is actually the one to blame for ruining his career. Alone; Affleck is annoying, with Lopez, he was punch worthy - with Garner - I feel sorry for him. Whatever im supposed to be funny about now. Wait did I have a story apart from my obsession with Jennifer Garner and how im never going to badmouth her ever? Oh yeah. Jay Leno.


So Garner was on Asschin's Show of being an Ass pushing the new season of Alias on DVD and Alias Season 5's debut on ABC on Thursday night - and amoungst her animated admission that shes become a Baseball fan she let it slip that what she had been referring to publically as "it" as actually a "she". Instead of just glossing it over with "I consider it as a she i guess" she held her mouth, looked gobsmacked as the crowd applauded and then resumed the conversation as though it had never happened.

All i can say is i am a very happy pervert. I mean; when Britney Spears had a boy I was like "aww crap". When im 40, balding and losing my sex drive another 19 year old Spearslet would have been damn good enough for a few hours of googling - but thank the sweet lord that Garner is going to provide me from a welcome respite from my bitchin' woman who will be all like, "You'd better clean the goddamn car!" and I'll be all like "Shut up, bitch! Im Downloadin Celia Garner pics, you tatless whoore!". And that's after we will have endured 6 years of marriage counselling and have agreed she can have bump bump with our neighbour once a month.

LMAO

I LOVE THAT PIC!!!

I am not in the mood for copy and pasting, if you want to see the image or click any of the links get your asses on the site

Mischa Barton is a transdimensional iguana!
Fuck is Mischa Barton boring. I mean seriously; bitch is like the most boring shit since The Guardian newspaper, and her acting talent is to be taken seriously, Well seriously if she starred in this movie. But hell, even in The O.C shes boring as hell; and that shows about as exciting as a Coldplay album. Coincidentally, Coldplay seems to be the only thing ever played in California if The O.C is anything to go by. Hint: Watch Alias instead and boycott coldplay you trendwhore. But whatever, topic: Mischa Bartonareallyboringshow......Read On for the picture that may make you question your existence.

[IMAGE HERE]


Apparently, Mischa's lifelong goal is to become Mary Kate Olsen. But there are so many things wrong with this picture. First and foremost; Is Mischa Barton transdimensional? I mean that dress is either Mishca's best Iguana impersination or shes warping some of her home planet from another dimension into our world, almost certainly heralding Tom Cruise to come out of <strike>John Travolta </strike> The Scientology Centre to finally bring about the March of the Scientologists to awaken Xenu who will smite Mischa Barton and her devil dress back to the gates of hell! At which stage the world will go insane with a distinct lack of bordem and Gwenyth Paltrow will become the new Julia Roberts; except this time instead of everyeone saying she is she actually WILL become Julia Roberts through the power of Kaballah.

At this stage there will be a huge war of the worlds as Xenu and his army of gullible celebrities will take on the Kabballah string and the $20m spent on them holding the idiots of the faith together. In a climatic showdown, Madonna will eat Xenu and Tom Cruise will cut off the source of her power; the immense and well hidden Penis she has tucked between her legs. Madonna will melt away and in time, roughly around the time of her next album to be precise, she will decide suddenly that some other obscure religion is the best thing ever and she must follow it because she just dosen't have that catholic feeling any more.

So really; Mischa Barton's dress is a question on existentiality. Or is it? Either way, Mischa you boring ho, sack your stylist, stop acting, sell that pugg dog and get a new phone you dumb creep.

Take your damn Coldplay-hate and bugger off, you bugger you. I liked Coldplay before it was COOL to like Coldplay, and before it was COOL to hate Coldplay.

P.S

The media likes Christina Aguilera, hates Britney Spears.

Looks at how the media portrays the two similar female stars in different lights.

Jennifer Lopez is Toxic!

Holy shit.

Jennifer Lopez shows that a closeup photo of a celebrity at any gala event [in this case she attended the Mastercard/Visa event which im 100% certain was not entirely for the celebrity freebies] Can provide gruesome and telling results. La Lopez really knows the power of looking like an orange sea monster because nothing says glamour quite like "Ive just strolled out of a nuclear reactor" Is it just me or has she developed a squint? Poor La Lopez. It's bitches like <strike>me</strike> the gossip community that give her a tough time, give the girl a <strike> hosedown</strike> break.

Anywhoo; The Afflecks spotted Lopez hiding in a bush [due to the orange glow she was emitting] and the shock/disgust is apparent.

Then, as you might do at a Red Sox game; Garner decided it was time for some hot lesbian action. This time with<strike> Hamsterface McCutiecheeks</strike> Renee Zellweger. Who actually looks like shes trying to take Garner out like that chick Typhoid Mary. Except instead of giving the competition typhoid - she squishes their heads until they explode!

Um, gross?

I was reading that Paris Hilton's engagement was off on CNN, and yet Michael has yet to pick up on it.

Don't tell me that I am breaking this scoop now.

No; i saw it.
I just really, really dont care; and its been old news in the world of celebrity goss for about a month.
Paris Hilton isn't that comical because shes been made fun of so many times.

Everything that is to be said about it has already been said.

As in compared to J.Lo?????

Paris Hilton is more of a People magazine girl. Michael is more of an Us reader.

I still wonder if maybe Michael is really a mafia hitman who was relocated in the witness protection program and is trying hard to assume a different identity.

I have different levels of not caring.

But your in luck, ive decided i dont care just enough that id best comment on the Lastis/Hilton affair.
Even though i could care less if her head fell off by freak accident wind shear.

Any more comments like that and I'll be forced to go all Miss Congienality on your ass.
Yes, on your ass.

With a heavy heart.....

Paris & Paris drop engagement!
The latest shocking twist in the soap opera that Paris Hilton calls her life is this: Paris Hilton has officially called off her engagement to Man-Paris [Paris Latsis] because of....wait for it her "active career"



Overload. Cannot compute. Overload. Overload. What do you mean am I Mishca Barton? Shut up, bitch! Im A6 sheet skinny, not A1 skinny.


Caption: <strike>Ioan Gruffudd</strike> Paris Latsis and Paris Hilton and Freaky Speckled Guy.


So I've been thinking about how I can actually proccess Paris Hilton calling off an engagement to the man who bought her an engagement ring worth roughly the life earnings of The Transporter . But im at a loss for words. I mean; if I bought my woman a $5m diamond enagement ring I'd not only expect a lifelong commitment, but I'd expect oral sex for 6 hours a night and no bitchin' about it either... and the option of infidelity at my own will just incase she gets fat.

But whats funnier than that is that Hellton claims to have "worked very hard" to get where she Is and is enjoying a "very active career". Does that mean that theres more porn videos in the pipeline? Because off the top of my head thats the only days "hard work" Paris Hilton has ever endured. Unless you count the Simple Life in which she just flings poop at Nicole Ritchie anyway. It was probobly her PR woman writing a stroke of genius. If in your dictionary genius means "retarded bullshit".

Finally, the topping on the LasParis cake. Hilton actually used the words "Dignity and respect" to refer to her own actions. Im serious. It's not like im making this shit up. Maybe Paris has become friends with Kate Moss, and that little pie she ate is messing with her head. And by ate I mean snorted. Oh and by pie I meant line of cocaine.

Love u Paris xxxx!

Jennifer Aniston is the girl from The Grudge!

Remember when the chick from The Grudge totally stalked the professor dude played by Bill Pullman and was in like, every picture he was in? Then she fell out a body bag and molestered everyone she saw to death? Well I think we could be seeing a real life copycat. Jennifer Aniston or someone who looks mighty similar is pictured clearly plotting to kidnap little "I wish I had a multiracial child with blue hair too!" Mohawk Baby Maddox. Soon she will be falling out of bin bags and molestering everyone she comes into contact with! I have money on Mohawk Haddocks starting a rock band thats kind of like Coldplay [who suck] in that they are "not pop" when they clearly are. Anyone else care to take those odds?

Image: [1] thanks to D-Listed.

Oh Michael, you and your conspiracies.

Eerie though.

I see youve switched your own blog to the mighty nucleus, Jeff.

Good choice; although im mildly contemplating moving to another system

Yeah, I've tried like 20 others, well installed like 8-10 I think but just wasn't happy with them.

I actually need to like, write at my main blog though, right now I'm just keeping one for my game.

Nuclues, Typepad and MovableType and Blogger are the best of the best.

Haven't tried the others. Nucleus works just fine.

I had a different one but was cleaning up my webhost and inadvertantly deleted my database (it was the same as my forums were stored in).

Yeah, brilliant, right?

Request your host restores it for you? The usually do server backups.

Too late now. I've already deleted my other files. Its fine, I only had 10 or so entries and they were mostly pointless angry rants. Pfft.