The Boobwatch 2 is up.
And Lindsay's emancipation of Boobies is really in full swing!

P.S Yay for our 6 Yahoo subscribers, if any of you are here - holla!

Looking better, looking bigger.

And yet, I still don't care.

Crunk up the volume and make sure you have flash http://deli.naturalflux7.com/

If you blink, youll miss it.

Theres actually been 2 other updates at the Deli since this; on about The Emmys sucking Donkey Balls, and another about Little Pink Christina Aguilera monsters.

So anyway.

Jennifer Lopez is freakishly huge and eats fake legs!

Jesus Christ I always believed the media every time they told me Jennifer Lopez was a huge star. But this image of Heather McCartney molesting Lopez's breasts with PETA stickers really proves it; im surprised Jennifer Lopez was so willing to let Heather McCartney fondle her sweet, giant breasts with stickers condeming her. They should stop reclaiming Japan and just start building on Lopez's left nipple - because that really would be the land of milk and honey.

Ireland Online wrote:
Paul McCartney’s wife Heather Mills McCartney lost her prosthetic leg during a violent confrontation with security guards at Jennifer Lopez's New York office.

The incident happened on Tuesday as the model turned animal rights activist attempted to deliver a People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) DVD showing creatures being killed for fur to Lopez, following a demonstration at which the 37-year-old pleaded with fans to boycott the superstar's music, movies and clothes because she uses fur in her fashion range, Sweetface.

After striding into the building opposite Manhattan's Bryant Park, accompanied by an entourage of journalists and photographers, McCartney Mills - who lost a leg after being hit by a car in 1993 - was confronted by burley minders who yelled: "You have no authority to be here.

"Get out! Leave the floor immediately!"

In the tussle that ensued, Mills McCartney's prosthetic leg became detached. She bent down and clutched her knee in pain, before asking to use a bathroom so she could reattach the leg.

Guards refused and she was forced to cling onto a photographer as she carried out the humiliating task on a stairwell.

Photographer Richard Corkery tells 25hoursonline.com: "I saw her touch her knee and I could see she was in pain. She limped to the ladies room but it was locked. I found another door open. It led on to the stairwell. At least she could have a private moment, which is what she needed."

According to 25hoursonline.com, Lopez's guards continued to verbally attack the group – screaming: "Call the cops! Call the cops!" - until Mills McCartney recovered her composure and was able to leave the building.
Wow, Heather McCartney is one brave bitch. I mean; look at the size of Jennifer Lopez. She so huge!...



But I think anyone with a fake leg willing to tastle with a giant, terrifying succubus media mogul like Jennifer Lopez is either

Pretty Crazy
Pretty High
Pretty Courtney Love [haha the irony is shes NOT pretty ahaha!]

But is anyone surprised that Jennifer Lopez would let her security guards de-leg a disabled celebrity infront of the world and let her lose her dignity on a stairwell trying to re-attach her prosthetic leg? If you are then that makes you pretty silly

Shouldn't you be ripping Kate Moss to shreds?

Ive been busy/ill/sleepy. The whole celebrity bitching thing becomes a burden from time to time on account of

a) Bitching being incredible exhausting [and sometimes quite upsetting *cries*]
b) I really couldn't give two shits if Kate Moss's nose bridge fell into her soup and she accidentally drunk it.
c) Is anyone actually surprised that Kate Moss is a raging cokehead? Nein!
d) I dislike all things celebrity.
E) Most sites already covered Kate Moss and her coke habits; i like to try and get some original stories on from time to time.

I wish tom cruise would start being crazy again. When Tom Cruise, Mariah Carey and Hilary Duff are out en force i don't even have to bother my arse because they are so insane that i basically write exactly what they do out.

Nice to know that you LOVE reading this FABULOUS column though, Hans, ill send you some merchandise thats in HOT PINK tomorrow if you'd like.

T shirt reads
"I take it up the ass." on the front
"From Tom Cruise, bitches" on the back.

Or you could have one of our various Scientology junk items like a REAL LIFE replica of the founder alien Xenu!

Heather Mills McCartney deserves everything she's got coming to her, hell, i'd rip both her legs off!

Daft bitch.

What have we missed?
Not a lot.
Robbie Williams is dead
Mariah Carey is a drunken sea-cucumber
Hilary Duff is an incestual lesbian

Not surprised about the Duff thing. I remember watching the music video she did with her sister and there were a few moments that seemed a little...um...unsettling.

Nasty Paris Hilton picture.

We're moving up in the world. As part of our "hook and sink em" plan to continue attracting visitors - we are available on Yahoo and now we are going to be running our first ad. Our two week slot on D-Listed begins in the next few days. D-Listed is a long running celebrity blog on Blogger which averages 450,000 hits a month.

The ad features the Little Celebrity Monsters going at it with each other; and an image of Paris Hilton and Tara Reid being incredibly drunk.

Since The Deli opened on its own a month ago; the site has had nearly 7,000 hits[which excludes my own views]; combined with the hits of this thread [which includes my own views] weve had just shy of 12,000 hits to date.
Yay! If the site continues to expand it may move from the solid Nucleus to something like TypePad or maybe even Blogger - simply because Nucleus isn't so felixible even if it is feature rich. Either way; for now - its a functional shell and im going to start getting back on regular updates - things can get a little crazy sometimes.

Teri Hatcher's Wax Model more realistic than real thing!

Sweet god its like looking into a mystical mirror of Narnia in which everything appears exactly as it is. Teri Hatchers new wax model in Tussauds is modeled not upon her Lois and Clark persona - but on Susan from Desperate Housewives. Scariest thing is she looks exactly like Hatcher...except with squinty eyes.



Apparently; it dosen't take much for people to make a wax model out of you. Although as Miss Hatcher demonstrates your more likely to become waxy if you've had extensive wax remodelling done on your face already. I seriously never saw her eyebrows move once in the entire first season of Desperate Housewives.

This model of Hatcher means its almost certain we can see a Tara Reid wax model sometime in the future. Although it might take a while- vomit, champagne bottles, dislodged tampons and cigarettes don't mould themselves you know.

The first ever Deli ad is now up.

http://dlisted.blogspot.com/



Its pretty!

Instead of me employing a little asian prostitute to slave over a computer and tirelessly push this crappy little column; I've decided instead to make a host of totally useless, totally pointless, mostly insulting "stickers" [ie circles] that you can use all over the place to be a douche to other people. Yay!

You know you love it.


Link Buttons.





Ever wanted to tell other people that they are stinking of body odour? Perhaps you've been having problems with your girlfriend, or you had a secret involving tampons you wanted to get off your chest? If so. Then these craptacularly great circles are just up your alley. Feel free to use and abuse.

Insane random buttons.






P.S - all the stickers work awesomely with MSN .

I want this one. Mhmmm.



Can it replace Kate Winslet in time?

I think they are equally sexy.

I don't like the word fuggos, and tampons scare me, so... ahem.

I do like the Fucking one and the bubye. *steals*

teehehehehe

Fuggos = best word ever.

Fuggos is shite! And not bananas. *goes on Gwen gush fest*


Douche, on the other hand, is incredibly SEXY!!!!

Mmm you need one that says "That's my shit, BITCH"

My most commonly spoken words to my peers As you can imagine, I am *so* popular, too.

The faculty likes it too! Fun for everyone!

You're*



You're fucking stinky* or You fucking stink*



You're*

Sometimes, in small spaces - puncuation and grammar is a a sacrifice we just have to make.

Oh and by the way, you can be "stinking" here In Britain; and Id assume, unless America is some kind of freaky communist anti-using words country; that stinking exists there too. Or is stinky the retarded version you guys use to be cute ? Like "Dude" is your word for "Friend" . Crazy Americans and your commie talk.

Horrah!
More Deli Stickers

And I like Coldplay.

Hmmm

Hehehe yay

I'm stealing one.

Double Update

Rebecca Romijn & Jerry O'Connell try to be Brangelina.

Because the media thinks that splicing the names of dating celebrities is cute and funny and not creepy at all; I christen the unholy engagement of sexy Femme Fatale actress Rebecca Romijn and the very very irritating and unfunny Jerry O'Connell "Jerromijn" because I too am cute and funny and it will undoubtably be the new hot word for Jerrbecca. Infact, Jerrbecca is even better because it dosen't look wierd! Yay for Jerbecca.

[IMAGE HERE @ DELI - Description - RRS and Jerry OC hauling box ass]

Anyway the news here is the recently engaged darlings have been spotted helping Hurricane disaster victims as the new Brangelina. Except not.
See as sexy Rebecca Romijn is; she's not Angelina Jolie. Sure "Femme Fatale" is like one of my favourite movies ever. But seriously; shes B-listed. And Jerry O'Connell? Try Z-listed. Together the struggle onto the B+ list. Angelina's farts could blow them over. On that subject Jennifer Aniston may try to woo Jerry away, with knifes. Ahh the sweet scent of revenge enduced celebrity marriage breakdowns!

Mariah Carey Shits giant phones!
Image at the Deli. too big to post

Mariah Carey is pretty dirty. She lets her dog pee on her with a fake doggy peepee, she had sex with Eddie Murphy, who is old, and she apparently doesn't shit diamonds and roses like she has us all believe. No, instead, Mariah Carey shits out Giant phones.

It could be kind of cool. You could go for a poo and just open your legs and have a conversation down the pan with your mom or something. But dialing would be some messy shit. Maybe it's some kind of revolutionary celebrity only S.T.D which is no doubt being spread by Tom Cruise* across Hollywood right now. Maybe Mariah just claims she can poop giant phones so she can sell more copies of her new album - because I mean I know that if I was stuck for a publicity stunt because Britney Spears has already done them all I'd poop something huge and take photos of it. But seriously; that poopyphone doesn't look to healthy. I don't know if you guys have noticed but its....red, and melting.. When I poop red, melty things I've either been eating candles again or I'm waiting to be cremated.

Thanks to the crapiliciously sexy Oscar for sending in this image of Mariah Carey. Who I always love to see for a multitude of reasons; the most obvious being that sausage tastes great.
* Who sues people so much I have to just say that Tom Cruise dosen't have any S.T.Ds whatsoever. Who even SAID that anyway? Oh right. Im sexy don't sue me Tom Cruise. Kissies.


Catherine Zeta versus Ashton Kutcher

Mariahs Dog Pees Wierdly!
Clicked in through the fabulous Dlisted? If so; heres a picture just for you celebrating the Deli's first ever advertisement [I know; its almost piss your pants exciting - but not quite. More like I nearly got a little damp for a minute exciting.

I know that this pictures probobly innocent; but lets just pretend that this dog is peeing on Mariah Carey with a wierd surgically attached appendage. Which reminds me of that time when my dog peed on ME with ITS surgically attached appendage. Ahh good times.