Author |
Message |
zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm Posts: 21549 Location: West Chester, Pennsylvania
|
 If you don't have children do you want them?
If your significant other didn't have the same opinion about kids, would that be a deal breaker for you?
I know I want around 4 children, but I'd settle for just one. But I don't think I could be fulfilled without children.
|
Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:06 pm |
|
 |
Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
In my first marriage, I want to say we were on different pages about kids (me unsure, but definitely down the line, her not so much) but I don't think it was a dealbreaker. That was other things
My current wife is obviously on board with kids, hence the baby growing inside her.
I think I could've lived without kids, but it's a non-point now.
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
|
Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:12 pm |
|
 |
Jiffy
Forum General
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:27 pm Posts: 6152 Location: New York
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Used to be a definite yes.
Now in recent years I'm not so sure...
|
Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:12 pm |
|
 |
publicenemy#1
Extraordinary
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 12:25 am Posts: 19406 Location: San Diego
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I do want one in the future... like in 10 years, I'm in no hurry.
|
Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:40 pm |
|
 |
BJ
Killing With Kindness
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2004 8:57 pm Posts: 25035 Location: Anchorage,Alaska
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
publicenemy#1 wrote: I do want one in the future... like in 10 years, I'm in no hurry. this
_________________The Force Awakens
|
Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:52 pm |
|
 |
the lesser evil
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:13 am Posts: 1476 Location: The Netherlands
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
No. I have absolutely zero desire to have any children. zwackerm wrote: But I don't think I could be fulfilled without children. I'm curious, what would they add to your life that you need to feel fulfilled? I never understand when people say this sort of thing. They add responsibility to your life, and a limitation on your personal freedom as well as extra expenditures, lots of added noise, poopy diapers... what else is there? I mean, I guess there's affection but then you might as well get a dog, who are a lot more loving toward their owners than most kids are towards their parents.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:28 am |
|
 |
tree and a half
Cream of the Crop
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:38 am Posts: 2084
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
zwackerm wrote: If your significant other didn't have the same opinion about kids, would that be a deal breaker for you?
If it isn't a dealbreaker for you, prepare for failure.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:51 am |
|
 |
Price
Gamaur's sex slave
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:15 pm Posts: 8889 Location: Los Pollos Hermanos
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I need someone to make my sneakers. After he/she is done with that, they can go live under a bridge.
_________________
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:58 am |
|
 |
stuffp
Keeping it Light
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:06 am Posts: 11616 Location: Bright Falls
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I'm indifferent towards having children or not; basically it depends on the circumstances and I don't want them now.
One reason I sometimes hear as a rebuke when saying I don't want children: but who's going to take care of you later. Perhaps it can be an advantage of having a child but I never find that a reason carrying any weight for me. I guess it used to be an old-school thought as why to have a child and have many of them.
However I do think children can give something in return of an emotional connection that nothing else can.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 5:38 am |
|
 |
Algren
now we know
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm Posts: 68321
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
stuffp wrote: One reason I sometimes hear as a rebuke when saying I don't want children: but who's going to take care of you later. That is only ever said in China.  But I agree, it is such a shit argument. I think if that's their only reason to have children, then I feel sorry for the children!
_________________STOP UIGHUR GENOCIDE IN XINJIANG FIGHT FOR TAIWAN INDEPENDENCE FREE TIBET LIBERATE HONG KONG BOYCOTT MADE IN CHINA
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 5:42 am |
|
 |
Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I'm with stuffp on this one. Not sure yet.
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:49 am |
|
 |
the lesser evil
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:13 am Posts: 1476 Location: The Netherlands
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Algren wrote: stuffp wrote: One reason I sometimes hear as a rebuke when saying I don't want children: but who's going to take care of you later. That is only ever said in China.  But I agree, it is such a shit argument. I think if that's their only reason to have children, then I feel sorry for the children! You could just use the money saved by not having kids of your own to hire a nurse when you're older, if being taken care of in old age is what's important.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:58 am |
|
 |
Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
the lesser evil wrote: Algren wrote: stuffp wrote: One reason I sometimes hear as a rebuke when saying I don't want children: but who's going to take care of you later. That is only ever said in China.  But I agree, it is such a shit argument. I think if that's their only reason to have children, then I feel sorry for the children! You could just use the money saved by not having kids of your own to hire a nurse when you're older, if being taken care of in old age is what's important. That would never be an argument for me to have kids (or not), but as to your statement - when I see with what dedication and passion my mother takes care of my ill, old grandmother, I can guarantee you that no nurse could and would have done that. Their doctor said that if it was not for her, in regular care my grandmother probably would have passed years ago.
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:02 am |
|
 |
Shack
Devil's Advocate
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:30 am Posts: 40500
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
the lesser evil wrote: No. I have absolutely zero desire to have any children. zwackerm wrote: But I don't think I could be fulfilled without children. I'm curious, what would they add to your life that you need to feel fulfilled? I never understand when people say this sort of thing. They add responsibility to your life, and a limitation on your personal freedom as well as extra expenditures, lots of added noise, poopy diapers... what else is there? I mean, I guess there's affection but then you might as well get a dog, who are a lot more loving toward their owners than most kids are towards their parents.I think the fulfilling part for a parent is supposed to be loving their kids, more than the kid loving the parents I definitely want kids, the whole idea of watching someone age is fascinating to me, they're super cute, the opportunity for a profound emotional relationship, etc. I can't relate to non-kids people, but I say that as someone who hates dogs, so I guess that's as weird to some dog fanatics. I quit a job as a door to door fundraiser after one day because I couldn't take the dogs, the person I was working with said the worst part of the job for her was the kids, it's just weird to me that between asshole dogs barking at you every door or probably at least a few times a week flat out chasing you out guard dog style, and a kid every once in a while, it's the kid that would drive someone crazy
_________________Shack’s top 50 tv shows - viewtopic.php?f=8&t=90227
Last edited by Shack on Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:54 pm, edited 4 times in total.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:33 pm |
|
 |
tree and a half
Cream of the Crop
Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:38 am Posts: 2084
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Dr. Lecter wrote: the lesser evil wrote: Algren wrote: stuffp wrote: One reason I sometimes hear as a rebuke when saying I don't want children: but who's going to take care of you later. That is only ever said in China.  But I agree, it is such a shit argument. I think if that's their only reason to have children, then I feel sorry for the children! You could just use the money saved by not having kids of your own to hire a nurse when you're older, if being taken care of in old age is what's important. That would never be an argument for me to have kids (or not), but as to your statement - when I see with what dedication and passion my mother takes care of my ill, old grandmother, I can guarantee you that no nurse could and would have done that. Their doctor said that if it was not for her, in regular care my grandmother probably would have passed years ago. That is the exception not the rule nowadays.
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:44 pm |
|
 |
Malcolm
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Hating dogs should be some kind of litmus test for being allowed to participate in society  There's no way to fully trust someone who hates those animals (or any animals, really). As to the actual topic, kids are awful and a big no thank you from me and my husband. There are enough humans ruining everything with our horrible, destructive lives 
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:29 pm |
|
 |
Rev
Romosexual!
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:06 am Posts: 32607 Location: the last free city
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I want kids when Beyoncé is ready to have mine
_________________ Is it 2028 yet?
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:37 pm |
|
 |
Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Malcolm wrote: Hating dogs should be some kind of litmus test for being allowed to participate in society  There's no way to fully trust someone who hates those animals (or any animals, really). What about fucking spiders?
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 9:42 pm |
|
 |
Corpse
Don't Dream It, Be It
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 12:45 pm Posts: 37162 Location: The Graveyard
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
I used to want children, but I've long since had second thoughts about it. I'd never rule it out, but it'd certainly be many, many years from now.
_________________Japan Box Office “Gods are great ... but the heart is greater. For it is from our hearts they come, and to our hearts they shall return.” “We were like gods at the dawning of the world, & our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other.” “There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.” “You have to pretend you get an endgame. You have to carry on like you will; otherwise, you can't carry on at all.” "Paper is dead without words / Ink idle without a poem / All the world dead without stories."
|
Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:29 pm |
|
 |
the lesser evil
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:13 am Posts: 1476 Location: The Netherlands
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
Dr. Lecter wrote: Malcolm wrote: Hating dogs should be some kind of litmus test for being allowed to participate in society  There's no way to fully trust someone who hates those animals (or any animals, really). What about fucking spiders? I do sort of agree with Malcom, but also fuck spiders forever and the world would be a better place if they all spontaneously caught fire, even if it meant the world would have to burn. I don't even care if they serve a biological/ecological purpose: they are the worst thing in the world. But back to the hating of dogs, yeah I don't get it. I don't get the urge to have kids, but I don't hate them. Some of my friends have kids and I get on with them very well. I just wouldn't want to dedicate my entire life to one of my own.
|
Fri Oct 07, 2016 2:12 am |
|
 |
Price
Gamaur's sex slave
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2005 7:15 pm Posts: 8889 Location: Los Pollos Hermanos
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
the lesser evil wrote: Dr. Lecter wrote: Malcolm wrote: Hating dogs should be some kind of litmus test for being allowed to participate in society  There's no way to fully trust someone who hates those animals (or any animals, really). What about fucking spiders? I do sort of agree with Malcom, but also fuck spiders forever and the world would be a better place if they all spontaneously caught fire, even if it meant the world would have to burn. I don't even care if they serve a biological/ecological purpose: they are the worst thing in the world. But back to the hating of dogs, yeah I don't get it. I don't get the urge to have kids, but I don't hate them. Some of my friends have kids and I get on with them very well. I just wouldn't want to dedicate my entire life to one of my own. And what about spider dogs? 
_________________
|
Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:52 am |
|
 |
Algren
now we know
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm Posts: 68321
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
What a bunch of pansies. Afraid of spiders. lol
Just stamp on them. Job done.
Now, snakes. They're scary.
_________________STOP UIGHUR GENOCIDE IN XINJIANG FIGHT FOR TAIWAN INDEPENDENCE FREE TIBET LIBERATE HONG KONG BOYCOTT MADE IN CHINA
|
Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:58 am |
|
 |
FILMO
The Original
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 10:19 am Posts: 9808 Location: Suisse
|
 Re: If you don't have children do you want them?
To cut the emotional BS.
People have children because they fuck. There was a time with no condoms etc....So the result was children.
Second. People have children because they need somebody when they are old handicapped whatever to bring them food and care for them etc.....why? Because dying is fucking terrible and it fucking sucks.
The love thing isnt around so long. Maybe 100 years in the western world?
The "my children will cary on my legacy" thing is also horseshit.
If there is a God or something like that after dying.....ok I was maybe wrong and screwed up with my opinon.
Yeah I was raised by cold and hard parents.
_________________Libs wrote: FILMO, I'd rather have you eat chocolate syrup off my naked body than be a moderator here.
|
Fri Oct 07, 2016 11:25 am |
|
|