Yes, yes, I know, many threads have been created because of all these issues and I hate to make another one, but I do think that this should be said in a separate thread rather than in one of the already created threads where it might be overlooked by many.

I won't be typing up a very long text here because there's not much major I can advise, other than one thing.

I have noticed that a long time ago, but tend to notice it more and more as of recent. Many posters here have issues with other posters. Which by itself is an absolutely normal thing. You can't expect hundereds of people to gather here and get along perfectly. That's not how people usually work. If it was so, I don't think we'd have so much suffering in the world.

Anyway, what I consider a real problem is that many posters here have issues with others for a long time, but keep that for themselves and don't try and tell those specific posters about these issues. That is eating up the community from inside. I know that well because this situation is by far not limited just to some internet movie boards. There have been similar situation among my friends in real life as well, all too often and it never is healthy.

If you have an issue with someone specific on the boards, ESPECIALLY if it lasts for a long time, it is better to try and talk with this person rather than to keep a fake happy face in front of the public. By talking to the person you can try and solve that problem. Not always is it possible to solve, but sometimes it is. If you don't talk, however, the issue will always stay and all you'll be doing is just pretending that everything's fine. Pretending is never good. Why playing friendly with someone who nyou despise on your inside? That is not fair to that person who thinks you are genuinely nice to him/her.

That's why I appreciate Eagle's thread that he made. He listed all the specific issues he has with the forums and certain posters. Now it is possible to discuss all these issues, one by one and I bet it feels better for him as well to let it all out.

On these boards and no other boards with such a big community will ever all posters get along well, but hiding existing issues makes the community rot from the inside.

Yes, by discussing the issues you might get in bad standings with that person that you have issues with, but that is better than just pretending everything is fine and acting this way.

Moreover, it is always the best to talk about this issues to the concerned person directly and not to others first.

All in all, honesty is important.

If you think that is not deserving of its own thread, feel free to lock it and trasport this post to somewhere else, but I think it is worth a read.

Thank you.


Arthur

Ok. My personal contribution to this on-going argument:

So recently alot has come out of certain posters I understand ragging on each other then having personal feuds, going after them in different threads, arguing and arguing. After months of this Eagle has gotten fed up and is about to shut down the boards, yada yada, we all know. Heres what I say:

This is the internet. It isn't real life, you will never meet these people. All they should be to you is a name on your screen, and thats all you should be to them. You don't personally know them, so whats with the animosity. "I AM GETTING REALLY FED UP WITH YOU, YOU ALWAYS TRASH ME, I USED TO LIKE YOU BUT NOW I HATE YOU TIMMMMMM!!!!" Who the hell cares if some guy named Andy or Tony or some girl named Rachel or whoever doesn't agree with you and doesn't like the way you post, does that affect your real life in any way whatsoever? For christs sake you guys are taking this shit too seriously.

I feel the exact same way about e-dating. Now that my friends is the weakest form of low you can get, pretending you're dating someone over the internet. I've seen e-daters on forums, and its pathetic. On a different forum one of these couples, two of the highest post-counts users and most respected somewhat, had a 'massive fight'. He called her house crying in the middle of the night, threatening to hurt himself, and so forth. And what was this fight ladies and gentlemen started over? A game of Hexic.

And really the internet is no more than a game of Hexic, thats what most of this forum is dedicated to, guessing the box-office totals the next weekend and so forth, saying what you think'll be the better movie between a couple, and so forth. The Derby reigns mostly supreme as one of the most hyped subjects. In e-dating they actually use words like 'I dumped him.' No, you dumb bitch, you're not dumping him. You can't dump someone over the internet because e-dating is not real dating. Point and point, I'll say it again:

Don't take the internet so seriously, you shouldn't get your assclown twats so worked up. Its supposed to be time-killer and entertainment and damn all this controversy sure as hell is, as well as the box-office predicting. The box-office predicting threads are mostly free of this negativity, which isn't even all that apparant in this board, I've seen much worse. I'll be one to say that this is currently a hell of a board, and all this recent interventions are perfectly fine by me they make for some quality posting.

Moral of the story: Calm the fuck down. Its the internet. E-feuds are weak.

And Eagle this next part is a bit to you: Come on, obviously the forum was made to entertain and to time-kill and to give you and us something to to.

So things are being a little negative but we can get better, now we know how close we've gotten to the forum ending we do promise we'll clean it up. My post above this will have been my most vile that I'll do for a while, from now on they'll be more like this one.

How can you say you're not enjoying this?

No, I'm not talking about taking seriously the current problem. If you care about WoKJ, you should.

I'm talking more about the tone. People, this is a fucking forum. It's an online community, not a clique of close friends.

We get so heated about every thing (myself included) that we forget something important: we're coming to WoKJ because:
a) we're bored
b) we want to engage in civil discussion
c) we have relationships with some of the posters

We come to WoKJ because it's something that can give us support or amusement. We don't (or at least shouldn't) come to WoKJ to attack other posters because, well, it's fun. It's a sick habit that I'm guilty of, and it's the kind of habit that Eagle suggests has become bothersome in his post.

I can't change how you guys react, but I think it needs to be stressed that WoKJ is a light message board. Intelligent discussion can exist, it just requires that we're more attentive to how we come across. Saying something like "FUCK OFF YOU DIRTY CHINESE SMELLY ASIAN COCKSUCKER" in the middle of a discussion is rude and unnecessary. I've felt this way for awhile - Even when I've been free in the past 8 weeks, I'm not looking forward to the board nearly as much as I used to. Right now, though, we're taking everything as we would in real life. We're all defensive. The best thing about Spider-Man is that he doesn't fight back because he knows it won't go anywhere. Maybe we should aspire to be more like him...?

Basically, if you want to keep this message board around (and if there's still hope), you all have to lighten up the tone. The people here *might not* be as educated as the people you associate with in the real world - it's a virtual community where anyone can join, and you're going to encounter differences. Accept it! In the end, people won't remember that one time you called Goldie a pedophile anyways.

*I haven't quite stayed up to date with the whole thing, but I just wanted to suggest something. It should help you later anyways

Hey guys,

I just fucked up the merge of all the personal threads.

Ugh. Please forgive me.

all good advice.

now if you guys dont mind me closing this thread temporarily ... thanks : )

I didn't even know where to put this, so I made my own thread. Sorry...latch it to most appropriate thread I haven't yet groomed.

Life is like a box of chocolates...oh wait a minute,

(Virtual) Life is like a really complex boyfriend.

The kind that still talks about his first love to your face, so you can sit around feeling insecure. Or holds you up to the awesome dreamgirl on the photoshoot just out from Vogue Italia.

Why aren't you like my past best gf? Why can't you be more like my ideal future gf?

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

C'mon guys. I like this place a lot. And think it has all the peaks and valleys that make any place (as person) "real." Call it charisma, character, but most importantly, make it work. All relationships are a two way street.

Geesh, my ex thought it would be the hottest thing ever to drag me camping in some caves in kentucky for a weekend. Me! In KENTUCKY? Ok, might have been misguided, but he put in the effort and made the trip and I put my best smile on and dealt with it, because I'm sure he didn't like it when I took him shopping for earrings or thought a hot date would be getting him tickets to see The Agronomist the one weekend it was here.

I'm cool with people weighing the pros and cons and deciding if its a (virtual) relationship they want to be in. But if they come to the decision it is...gotta keep working at it. Its never going to be smooth, and its going to be quite confusing and disheartening at times, but its going to have the best rewards too! Thats what makes it real, and what makes every (virtual) space unique.

I read somewhere some comment that people thought Eagle was being a bit dramatic feeling like tossing in the towel. I have to come clean on that. It was a pm he received from me a teenie while back where I asked him why we work so hard on this, and if he's as tired as i am. I was actually wondering what was up. Mostly with myself, but the site in general. He put me a bit at ease because I've always regretted getting booted from NYFCO. I feel this site worked hard and aggressively to build itself, hence its ability to survive this long. But we got dealt a couple unlucky blows. Everytime we updated we lost external links (like one's for bABA's Batman ravings and a link to another site for my Horror article, etc). We mistepped a couple times on forum management, and we could have been on rotten tomatoes and great linking months ago if I'd managed to hold up my end. These things were just unlucky...happened. So I thought maybe it was one too many incidents to overcome.

Not true. I've noticed people that have really worked for the site and forums. Look at Moviedude's trailer reviews, Snrubs scoop updates, the Plant 101 articles, Matatonio and rusty's music threads, neostorms book club, the beginning of top one hunderd lists, rogue's movie mayhem, the entire indies/foreign forum, Cotton's Idol, and dp07's/xiayuns (and a ton of other people I don't know) Yahoo tracking thread which is so popular. This is what we have to keep doing to overcome a shaky start and a couple moments of bad luck.

This is like revamping a relationship guys. Half of which you bring to it, and can take this place anywhere we want. Its going to come with people's preconceived notions, their hang-ups, their errors, and all the quirky little things that make them (or this site) them. It's a work in progress and will always be a work in progress. I'd put up with the Kentucky caves just because I know how much effort someone put into planning them for me. They'd put up with my drolling about Bernal Diaz and my love for the new Anthropology autumn line. And we'd find happy ground in the middle that cares not to eliminate or ignore those unique characteristics and energy we each bring to it.

But you guys had better make the sex good too, or I'm outta here.

good but i'm merging this with torrino, shack and lecter's thread.