haha...I just told somebody this yesterday.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan)

If you live in the 'burbs and you're a girl, don't walk around in your nighty or you're bound to get attacked by a mass-murdering psycho. In outerspace too...just never walk around in just undies and a night shirt because it'll clearly be the death of you.

"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage" - Mrs. White (sorry, had to throw in at least one Clue quote)

Never run UPSTAIRS to get away from somebody trying to kill you.

When weird things have been going on, you're all alone and you hear or see something really weird, do not look clueless and walk around the entire house trying to find out what happened. Either get the hell out, or barricade yourself in your room with a phone and invited someone over or just start screaming. Investigating a disturbance that feels freaky beyond a certain limit is stupid.

Don't open up a fruit stand business or any other kind of business that requires a table or stand set up near a street in the city, for a car is sure to knock it over while being pursued in a high speed chase.

If you get home after a horrible day and play your messages, and the girl you're going out with leaves you a guilty break up message, expect her to throw in "Its not you, its me" for comfort."

I dunno bABA...I've used that line even when the guy hasn't been at work at all, and not on a voice machine either. That's a shotty lesson, since you're preparing people to only hear it in one place and time. So if I avoid working all day, and never check my messages, will my girl never say that to me? I doubt it... sorry, we need better lessons than this.


This isn't my lesson, but a friends...He loves the John Cusack discussion from High Fidelity about girl's cotton panties as a metaphore for relationships. That basically when one starts dating its all "lace" and exciting and then things get mundane, and lose interest "cotton" but that its who that person is, etc etc. I forget how it ends, so maybe someone can fill in the gaps?

My biggest lesson from movies is how great food is. Eat, Drink, Man, WOman? Like Water for Chocolate? Big Night? There are just so many great movies that have these tasty food shots that make me realize how flavorful the world is.

I'm not saying it won't happen otherwise. I'm saying that in such a scenario, its almot guaranteed, as far as movies go. : )

I once decided to drop cliches and say "its not me, its you". That one didn't work out right.

Poor Daredevil didn't get comforted like that when he came home spitting out teeth from a hard night of crime fighting. He was told it was his fault that she was breaking up with him.

NO WAY!! I distinctly remember groaning in the cinema when the girl, after a million things said, its not you, its me!!!

Nope...she never once said it was her, not him. I even just put it in again to make double sure. She gave him a list of reasons why she wasn't happy with him, and then told him goodbye, and she hopes he finds what he's looking for.

DUDE!! I can swear to you, sitting in the theatre, she said that. The version i saw, that was definetely there!! are you watching a director's cut? my frirnds and i have made so much fun of that cause she says that and then pursues to blast him off. this is very odd.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

on that note, all news bullitens also start from the exact moment you need to listen to them from. It will neverbe half the story, the end of the story or anything like that. one will not have to wait half n hour to hear the news again. you will hear the whole story or no story at all.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

Please tell me you've seen Cane Toads?

Star Trek has taught me about accepting everybody.

If you are involved in an action scenario, do not fret. You can be thrown considerable distances or even punched and kicked but chances are, it will take something quite considerable to actually hurt you. Unless ofcourse, you're just a soldier in the evil gang.

Ok.

I learned about the Care Bear Stare...unfortunately it didn't fix all the problems in the world the way I thought it would when I was 8.

No?

No, I swear to you on all that's holy, she never said that in the theatrical version of the movie. Honest. I know that's what they say 9 times out of 10, but Daredevil was that rare 10th time.

man ... i don't doubt you but i refuse to believe i didn't hear that. i've been ridiculing a scene that never took place for almost 2 years now??? how could this have happened.

You have to. There this long distance shot of this car driving (towards the camera) on an absolutely straight street. He keeps swirving like mad and you keep hearing popping noises and he's actually trying to purposefully road-kill every Cane Toads on the street. So the car is just all over the place and he keeps jerking the tire, even though its a straight road.

BTW, its actually a documentary! I'm pretty sure they have it at Kim's Video on St. Marks near Astor place, and probably in other good rental stores too. You simply must see it after the lesson you just mentioned.

it sounds hilarious! definitely just went onto the list. And you beat me to the punch with the 'hmm.. I'm home alone in this scary house, I'll just put on some revealing lingerie & draw a bath.. maybe leave this window open too.."

love it!

...while I'm at it I'll just put some lovely head phones on so I can't hear anything...or leave the place to chit chat with my friend girl on the phone and then leave the phone on the otherside of the house when I return to get in the tub.


edit*** It's also a great idea to hum to yourself while walking around the house getting ready. Hum something very innocent, perhaps the music from the first jewelry box your now deceased mother gave you when you were a little girl and did ballet.