The change in your status has been noted, as has the fact that you may have a drinking problem - based on the fact that you felt drinking was more important than the birth of your neice and/or nephew.

Of course, I kid - drinking is far more important than babies, and there is nothing wrong with that. All this leads me to a little baby tip for you, free of charge.... if your neice and nephew is being too loud and crying all the time, pour a little alcohol in with its milk. It puts them to sleep every time.

Montana PI's report on Demandred

Name: Demandred

Profile: Demandred is an uber-gamer and without a doubt is one of KJ's best kept secrets. He is intelligent and always gives well thought out posts and great information. As a result, he doesn't always join in on the little banter and inane conversations that most of us do here, which is why he has remained one of the best kept secrets.

KJ History: Demandred has been here since the start, but has put in less than 500 posts. He spends the bulk of his time in the gaming forum, but also also makes the rare appearance in the DVD forum, Literature forum, Water Cooler, and movie forums.

Compatibility potential: Tony has talked to Demandred in real life more than any other member at KJ, and they very often agree on everything from games to movies. There is nobody Tony respects more in gaming land than Demandred. If he says a game is good, Tony will buy that game without question.

Bottom line: The combined Xbox Live gaming score from a pairing of this duo would result in a jaw dropping 194,000+ points. For that alone, it deserves consideration. Tony could find no greater match in gaming land either. However, Demandred probably wouldn't know the Rainbow Sisterz from Z&T, and ultimately Tony and Demandred would just get sidetracked from their mission and end up on Xbox Live playing Halo 3 while talking about how stupid Squee can be.

The application phase is done... under no circumstances will more applications be accepted. Our final list of candidates is as follows:

RonBurgandy
Snrub
MikeQ
bABA
Mr X
Joe
Lorry Hal
jujubee
Munkatouille
loyalfromlondon
Ripper
Michael
Minneapple
insomniacdude
Gullimont
Demandred
Rod
The Dark Shape
be.ready
getluv
Dr. Lecter

Background checks on Rod, The Dark Shape, be.ready, and getluv will be completed before Saturday, at which point we will move to stage 3 of this exciting search for my true KJ love.

Montana PI's report on Rod:

Name: Rod

Profile: Rod is another one of those classic members of the KJ/BOM community that has been around longer than Tony has. He is a very easy going likable fellow who has a good sense of humor.

KJ History: Rod's been a member since the beginning and his total posts sit at just over 10,000. He spends an alarming amount of time in the uppity Awards forum, and has even been spotted in the foreign film section of the site (I didn't even know there was a section like that until I started checking deep into Rod's background). However, Rod balances all the high class talk out with frequent visits into Ye Olde Pube, which largely consist of talk that could even make me blush.

Compatibility potential: Both Rod and Tony joined KJ within days of each other and have a similar post count, and thus a similar power base. They have always gotten along very well together, and I get a feeling that Tony appreciates Rod's easy going manner and sense of humor, and vice versa. And, while Rod is mild mannered, I get the feeling that he can attack and would have Tony's back in a fight with Z&T or the Rainbow Sisterz.

Possible pitfalls: They may get along very well, but they are often at opposite ends of the forum - with Rod enjoying his tea and crumpets in the Awards forum and Tony eating Oreo's and drinking his 20th Mountain Dew in the last hour while hanging out in the gaming forum. It's all very "West Side Story"-ish.

Bottom line: I see a Rod and Tony pairing as a high powered very diverse duo - they'd have all corners of the forum covered. Unfortunately it would be tough to find the middle ground where they can meet.

Montana PI's report on the Dark Shape

Name: The Dark Shape

Profile: The Dark Shape is a massive horror movie buff, and not the kiddie PG-13 horror stuff... he likes the hard, old school horror. Things like the Exorcist, the Shining, and Halloween. Oddly, he balances out this persona with a love for Nintendo... a system regarded by many as childish and full of games with brightly colored rainbow worlds. I can't figure out if he has some type of schizophrenia, or if he does this consciously to balance out all the images of hacking and killing by running around as Mario and holding hands with Princess Peach.

KJ History: The Dark Shape migrated over from BOM very early on and has hacked up over 4000 posts. He largely can be found in the movie forums discussing horror movies, as well as some action flicks. However, he can also be seen occassionally in the gaming forum fighting the fight for his beloved Nintendo.

Compatibility potential: As was mentioned by TDS, while they are often at opposite ends of the gaming spectrum (Tony likes games made for adults), they do share a common dislike of Sony. And, despite disagreeing at times, I'm certain Tony does love discussing games and systems with him.

Possible pitfalls: Clearly, TDS does not appear to be serious about being part of this amazing duo and has clearly stated that he is just applying so he can hear my report on him. While I am flattered that he respects my PI skills, I can't endorse him due to the lack of enthusiasm.

Bottom line: The DS is a very respected and well liked member of KJ, but I don't think his heart is in the right place to be included in the duo.

Pft.

Why the need to find a middle ground when we can choose the local bar as our place to meet for a drink or twenty?

Um....I'm a he. I'm WIND WAKER, not Wind Walker. Maybe you got confused with someone else....

Tony recently has been looking at people through anime eyes if hes seeing every dude as a woman . It probably means that hes got a PS3/Wii system somewhere

Umm, Tony, I should be among the list of the new applicant as well. I applied right in time.

In an effort to show Tony the benefits of a potential partnership I will be on a vendetta against all Wii owners for the next few weeks.

well Im pretty sure who Tony will pick. Its someone in the kliq but had Filmo entered, he would have been chosen instantly

Stupid Gulli making a late entrance...

Montana PI probably got you confused with you mom.

As for calling you "walker", you'll have to forgive him... he's not a massive Zelda fan like I am. He wouldn't know Wind Waker from Ocean of Time.

My apologies... you are correct. Your application got stuck underneath a pizza box on Montana PI's desk.

I wiped the cheese stains off of it, and your name has been added to the list.

I'm certainly glad you know, because I honestly have no idea so far. I've just been enjoying reading Montana PI's insightful profiling of each candidate, and I think there are several very, very strong candidates.

It's just too bad you didn't formally apply, Roid. This contest would have been over right there.

Tell Montana PI there's no need to apologize.

Dear Mr. Montana,

I regret to inform you that I have been called to Detroit on family business for the weekend. This means I may be slow in getting my answers for the second part in. Unless you wanted to interview me in person, since we all know you live in Detroit. I'm sure that could be arranged.

Sincerely,
jujubee

Montana PI's report on be.ready

Name: be.ready (AKA: donnie darko)

Profile: Not too far into the background check, I discover B-ready actually likes the Gillmore Girls TV show, has never touched an Xbox 360, and was the sole reason that the Awards forum beat the gaming forum in this years poster awards. I probably could have stopped at that point, but being a tremendous PI, I continued on to get the full story. Luckily I found it wasn't all horrorific... and there are indeed some things to like about be.ready. He does display some good taste with movies, and is a very likable, easy going fellow - despite the massive flaws.

KJ History: be.ready will be celebrating his 3rd birthday at KJ in just a few days. He's not an overly active member, as he only has about 750 posts in those 3 years. He spends most of his time discussing movies, and splits time between the high falootin' Awards forum and hanging out with the cool kids in the gamers lair.

Compatibility potential: B-diddy sees a lot of movies, and I believe that on the whole Tony would agree with his tastes, especially the 10 out of 10 he gave to Planet Terror - Tony's favorite movie of 2007. He does enter the gaming forum from time to time, and I'm certain Tony appreciates his intelligent discussion, even if they disagree.

Possible pitfalls: Handing over the victory to the awards forum - relegating the gamers to the #2 position - will be a tough pill for Tony to swallow.

Bottom line: be.ready is a very nice guy, but I don't see this as a possible combination in the end. There are some compatibility issues, as well as a lack of consistent posting on be.ready's part.

I sincerely doubt we'll be remotely done with that phase by the end of the weekend. We'll definitely give you a reasonable shot to be included - especially for a woman in your condition.

Plus, along the same line, I would like to re-state in case anybody missed it - the "interview" portion will not be a taxing essay or creative writing contest. I aim to keep this something that could be completed in 3 minutes or less. It's more about compatibility.

Michael Morgan Bain shall eliminate the competition.
Those fierce teeth and claws i'd put away grow back very quickly. I just wont file them down.

Im just too modest to apply . I even refuse to call myself sexy even though I am as sexy as a Final Fantasy character

Montana PI's report on getluv:

Name: getluv (AKA get24, Pure Blonde, dr getluv)

Profile: getluv is a highly entertaining - but often terribly misguided - fellow, who also may display signs of various mental illnesses. He is clearly celebrity obsessed, as he even admits that he "only knows celebrities", but at the same time will criticize others hobbies as "not healthy". He's clearly a man who has thrown some stones through his own glass house many, many times.

KJ History: getluv has been a member of KJ for about 2 years and 8 months and has banged out 7,600 posts which are mostly just a mixture of the following words: "cunt", "whore", "dickhead", "bitch", "hoe", "penis", and "vagina". If you take any of those words and add a celebrity's name around them, you have a getluv post.

Compatibility potential: It's clear from talking with Tony that he is highly entertained by getluv, and he has cited getluv's "So..." thread as his all time favorite. getluv does very much enjoy mixing it up and having him in the duo would be like having a pit bull that would have your back - in between moments where he'd be off eating little kids.

Possible pitfalls: getluv recently went on an anti-gaming crusade in which he tried to prattle on about how unhealthy and unsocial gaming was. He got his ass handed to him in the debate, and this clearly shows he may be out of touch with reality or able to adequetly finish a debate... all things that would not be good in a duo.

Bottom line: While Tony clearly likes getluv, values their conversations, and is highly entertained by him, I don't see any way that this duo could work. getluv is too out of touch with reality and too celebrity obssessed to take on the required task at hand.

That was one of the most entertaining profiles Ive seen

My chances are goin' up!