Author |
Message |
zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm Posts: 20445 Location: Where they shot Knock at the Cabin
|
Saying no
Is it my responsibility if someone else can’t say no to me? I have friends that say yes to me and then express to me later they wanted to say no and felt guilty so they said yes and couldn’t get homework done or something. I’ve expressed to these friends if they wanna tell me no to feel free, but it’s not my responsibility if they have a guilty conscience when it comes to saying no.
|
Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:31 pm |
|
|
Thegun
On autopilot for the summer
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:14 pm Posts: 21657 Location: Walking around somewhere
|
Re: Saying no
What are you making these kids do?
_________________Chippy wrote: As always, fuck Thegun. Chippy wrote: I want to live vicariously through you, Thegun!
|
Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:31 pm |
|
|
Jmart
Superman: The Movie
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:47 am Posts: 21165 Location: Massachusetts
|
Re: Saying no
Yes. It means you’ve put them in the position that they’d rather make you happy instead of possibly dealing with you when you’re not. They probably think you’re being disingenuous when you tell them that they’re free to say no, probably because they don’t feel they are free to say no.
_________________My DVD Collection Marty McGee (1989-2005)
If I’m not here, I’m on Letterboxd.
|
Sat Oct 12, 2019 9:23 pm |
|
|
Shack
Devil's Advocate
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:30 am Posts: 38315
|
Re: Saying no
It depends how you're saying it. If you're passive aggressively mad at them when they say no they will notice it.
_________________Shack’s top 50 tv shows - viewtopic.php?f=8&t=90227
|
Sun Oct 13, 2019 10:40 pm |
|
|
zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm Posts: 20445 Location: Where they shot Knock at the Cabin
|
Re: Saying no
Shack wrote: It depends how you're saying it. If you're passive aggressively mad at them when they say no they will notice it. I don’t get mad usually. Sometimes I do get annoyed because they’ll say they’re “busy” when I’m pretty sure they don’t want to. I hate when people try to people please and aren’t honest so if I think someone doesn’t want to do something I’ll call them out. But if someone is just truthful with their yes or no it doesn’t bother me.
|
Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:19 pm |
|
|
Jack Sparrow
KJ's Leading Idiot
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:15 pm Posts: 36923
|
Re: Saying no
I don't think you are responsible for their actions but being a friend you need to find out why they feel that they cannot be genuine with you. That's a key part of friendship anyways. Maybe its the way you ask them for these "things" that they feel the need to say yes otherwise they feel you will be offended.
|
Mon Oct 14, 2019 12:24 am |
|
|
Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
|
Re: Saying no
Jmart wrote: Yes. It means you’ve put them in the position that they’d rather make you happy instead of possibly dealing with you when you’re not. They probably think you’re being disingenuous when you tell them that they’re free to say no, probably because they don’t feel they are free to say no. this
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
|
Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:18 am |
|
|
zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm Posts: 20445 Location: Where they shot Knock at the Cabin
|
Re: Saying no
Jmart wrote: Yes. It means you’ve put them in the position that they’d rather make you happy instead of possibly dealing with you when you’re not. They probably think you’re being disingenuous when you tell them that they’re free to say no, probably because they don’t feel they are free to say no. I think I accept no pretty well, except when 1. They cancel plans we already made on short notice 2. They tell me maybe for a long time and only say no when the time comes 3. Tell me they're busy when I know for a fact they're not I appreciate solid nos, but I hate when people pretend like they wanna do things with me when they clearly do not. Like, saying maybe and then no at the last minute doesn't make them a better person.
|
Mon Oct 14, 2019 11:50 am |
|
|
Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
|
Re: Saying no
Start accepting maybe's as no's. Nobody is seriously going to say maybe and then later say yes. That's literally the point of maybe.
And... it sounds like you don't take no pretty well.
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
|
Mon Oct 14, 2019 11:54 am |
|
|
Jack Sparrow
KJ's Leading Idiot
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:15 pm Posts: 36923
|
Re: Saying no
Chippy wrote: Start accepting maybe's as no's. Nobody is seriously going to say maybe and then later say yes. That's literally the point of maybe.
And... it sounds like you don't take no pretty well. True it sounds like that.
|
Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:27 pm |
|
|
Shack
Devil's Advocate
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:30 am Posts: 38315
|
Re: Saying no
zwackerm wrote: I think I accept no pretty well, except when
1. They cancel plans we already made on short notice 2. They tell me maybe for a long time and only say no when the time comes 3. Tell me they're busy when I know for a fact they're not . Then you don't really accept nos
_________________Shack’s top 50 tv shows - viewtopic.php?f=8&t=90227
|
Tue Oct 15, 2019 2:59 am |
|
|
Rev
Romosexual!
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:06 am Posts: 32140 Location: the last free city
|
Re: Saying no
Look in the mirror and ask yourself why I’m the way I am.
_________________ Is it 2024 yet?
|
Tue Oct 15, 2019 7:59 am |
|
|
Darth Indiana Bond
007
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:43 pm Posts: 11075 Location: Wouldn't you like to know
|
Re: Saying no
You asked a question and everyone here gave you good advice and answered your question truthfully, and now you’re arguing with their response. I don’t understand what the point is of this thread unless it was intended as a flame thread.
_________________
|
Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:51 am |
|
|
Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
|
Re: Saying no
I mean, in general, I believe it's human nature to agree to stuff or say yes instinctual. So it's hard for people to say no. Props to people who can.
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
|
Tue Oct 15, 2019 11:58 am |
|
|
Mau
100% That Bitch
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:42 pm Posts: 16901 Location: Monterrey, Mexico
|
Re: Saying no
I say No on a daily basis multiple times a day.
If you're not comfortable doing/saying something just say now it's not your job to make others happy.But if you're gonna say no, you gotta accept when ppl blow you off. That's the way it is. You sound like QUITE the person and hard to deal with.
_________________ Tongue Pop!
I kneel with Magnus.
|
Mon Oct 21, 2019 10:46 pm |
|
|
Mau
100% That Bitch
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:42 pm Posts: 16901 Location: Monterrey, Mexico
|
Re: Saying no
zwackerm wrote: Jmart wrote: Yes. It means you’ve put them in the position that they’d rather make you happy instead of possibly dealing with you when you’re not. They probably think you’re being disingenuous when you tell them that they’re free to say no, probably because they don’t feel they are free to say no. I think I accept no pretty well, except when 1. They cancel plans we already made on short notice 2. They tell me maybe for a long time and only say no when the time comes 3. Tell me they're busy when I know for a fact they're not I appreciate solid nos, but I hate when people pretend like they wanna do things with me when they clearly do not. Like, saying maybe and then no at the last minute doesn't make them a better person. Gurl plz, you're the definition of white trash and I don't even know ur white. Like really you are so entitled you think everyone is at your disposal that when they say no you bitch? And oh dear I can picture that CLEARLY in my head. You're the kind of guy who bitches about these little.thibgs for years "Remember when we agree on watching Joker on this date but you blew me off last minute because your dad had a n accident? How does your dad dare to fall off the stairs when you already agreed to go with me?" You're that kind of boy, I know you are.
_________________ Tongue Pop!
I kneel with Magnus.
|
Mon Oct 21, 2019 10:50 pm |
|
|
zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm Posts: 20445 Location: Where they shot Knock at the Cabin
|
Re: Saying no
Mau wrote: zwackerm wrote: Jmart wrote: Yes. It means you’ve put them in the position that they’d rather make you happy instead of possibly dealing with you when you’re not. They probably think you’re being disingenuous when you tell them that they’re free to say no, probably because they don’t feel they are free to say no. I think I accept no pretty well, except when 1. They cancel plans we already made on short notice 2. They tell me maybe for a long time and only say no when the time comes 3. Tell me they're busy when I know for a fact they're not I appreciate solid nos, but I hate when people pretend like they wanna do things with me when they clearly do not. Like, saying maybe and then no at the last minute doesn't make them a better person. Gurl plz, you're the definition of white trash and I don't even know ur white. Like really you are so entitled you think everyone is at your disposal that when they say no you bitch? And oh dear I can picture that CLEARLY in my head. You're the kind of guy who bitches about these little.thibgs for years "Remember when we agree on watching Joker on this date but you blew me off last minute because your dad had a n accident? How does your dad dare to fall off the stairs when you already agreed to go with me?" You're that kind of boy, I know you are. Lol.
|
Tue Oct 22, 2019 7:37 am |
|
|