Register  |  Sign In
View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Fri Oct 23, 2020 6:26 am



Reply to topic  [ 300 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12  Next
 Dilemmas and Decisions 
Author Message
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:59 am
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
The main thing left to decide is whether I fess up to Emily during my large birthday bash on Friday (pros: I have my boys around, which gives me courage and support in the case of a bitter rejection, I feel more during an event dedicated to me; cons: it will put her in an awkward spot because of all of the aforementioned pros and she does not feel that comfortable in masses. Also, I might be drunk and stupid) or on a more intimate occasion (pros: no disturbance, no outside factors; cons: awkward silence once it is said and little room for either to remove themselves from the conversation and distract themselves).

A very good friend asked why I would want to fess up at all after yesterday and my answer is: honesty. That is important for any friendship and I would want to know that too. And possible catharsis for me.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:07 am
Profile WWW
loyalfromlondon
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:31 pm
Posts: 19700
Location: ville-marie
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Dr. Lecter wrote:
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.

Image

_________________
Magic Mike wrote:
zwackerm wrote:
If John Wick 2 even makes 30 million I will eat 1,000 shoes.


Same.


Algren wrote:
I don't think. I predict. ;)


Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:17 am
Profile
So much has happened to me that I don’t understand
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:30 am
Posts: 32345
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Pretty sure confronting her at a party with a whole bunch of people and dragging her sister into it is not what she meant by giving her more space

_________________
I’m disagreeing with you because I love to argue, not because I dislike you.


Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:26 am
Profile
Keeping it Light
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:06 am
Posts: 10173
Location: Bright Falls
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
:funny:

Dr. Lecter wrote:
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.

This sounds like a good assessment of the situation. Considering your situation, you are close friends with her I think being graceful about the situation is more important than anything. Even if she's indeed as it appears not interested in you, she should at least be flattered and want to continue being friends as long as you won't be weird about it. There's a big chance that through it all she might want to hang out less though if she finds out, actually I think this will be unavoidable, but also that would probably be the best for you too.


Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:29 am
Profile
On autopilot for the summer
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:14 pm
Posts: 20859
Location: Walking around somewhere
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Dr. Lecter wrote:
Thegun wrote:
You waited too long man. You needed to focus on the quality and not the quantity of time. Sorry to hear that. So you never said anything? I can't said I ever had someone I consider a close friend tell me basically fuck off for a extended period time before. That makes me feel like you should have just gone for it, your views on the closeness of the friendship seem different.


Don't be discouraged though, just let it slide and start hooking up with other girls, maybe you can make her jealous


What?

Considering the crush has essentially lasted for about a month so far, I doubt anyone can file it under "waiting too long". And she didn't tell me to fuck off for an extended period of time since we are going to see each other this week and most likely next week again. Just not every other night.


Wait what? Only a month, tell the truth dude, you basically drunkingly told her you loved her at some party a year ago. That means you at least have thought about it an extended period before. You might have only wanted to act on it for a month, but this is since however long you've known her .

Also that sounds so weird and creepy. I would not see her next week. Cut her off and make her want to see you, that's literally all you have left, see if she misses you. Also why did you deny it? You have no chance at this point IMO with supergirl. Everything you've done is wrong. Man, you definitely put my MLK day off to a bad start.

_________________
Image

Chippy wrote:
As always, fuck Thegun.


Chippy wrote:
I want to live vicariously through you, Thegun!


Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:40 am
Profile
The Original
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 10:19 am
Posts: 9808
Location: Suisse
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Dr. Lecter wrote:
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.



Who does know you have a crush on Emely?
Why telling the sister? Doesnt that make the situation unnecessarily akward?

_________________
Libs wrote:
FILMO, I'd rather have you eat chocolate syrup off my naked body than be a moderator here.


Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:36 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Thegun wrote:
Dr. Lecter wrote:
Thegun wrote:
You waited too long man. You needed to focus on the quality and not the quantity of time. Sorry to hear that. So you never said anything? I can't said I ever had someone I consider a close friend tell me basically fuck off for a extended period time before. That makes me feel like you should have just gone for it, your views on the closeness of the friendship seem different.


Don't be discouraged though, just let it slide and start hooking up with other girls, maybe you can make her jealous


What?

Considering the crush has essentially lasted for about a month so far, I doubt anyone can file it under "waiting too long". And she didn't tell me to fuck off for an extended period of time since we are going to see each other this week and most likely next week again. Just not every other night.


Wait what? Only a month, tell the truth dude, you basically drunkingly told her you loved her at some party a year ago. That means you at least have thought about it an extended period before. You might have only wanted to act on it for a month, but this is since however long you've known her .

Also that sounds so weird and creepy. I would not see her next week. Cut her off and make her want to see you, that's literally all you have left, see if she misses you. Also why did you deny it? You have no chance at this point IMO with supergirl. Everything you've done is wrong. Man, you definitely put my MLK day off to a bad start.


Jesus, you're such a tool.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:42 pm
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
FILMO wrote:
Dr. Lecter wrote:
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.



Who does know you have a crush on Emely?
Why telling the sister? Doesnt that make the situation unnecessarily akward?


Four of my closest friends. And her sister is the fifth. Under any different circumstances I would have told her long ago.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:44 pm
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
stuffp wrote:
:funny:

Dr. Lecter wrote:
BTW, I have decided to talk to her sister about it (let's call her Lisa) because she is just too good of a friend to keep it from her and might be upset if she finds it out eventually without me ever telling her, considering we have always been talking about all personal things.

This sounds like a good assessment of the situation. Considering your situation, you are close friends with her I think being graceful about the situation is more important than anything. Even if she's indeed as it appears not interested in you, she should at least be flattered and want to continue being friends as long as you won't be weird about it. There's a big chance that through it all she might want to hang out less though if she finds out, actually I think this will be unavoidable, but also that would probably be the best for you too.


Many years ago, the situation was similar, but reversed between her sister and me. With the difference that we weren't such close friends back then. It actually led to us hanging out more together and growing closer.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:50 pm
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Shack wrote:
Pretty sure confronting her at a party with a whole bunch of people and dragging her sister into it is not what she meant by giving her more space


She has actually never said that, I just had to paraphrase a bit. Though both are still valid concerns. I am meeting her sister tomorrow for lunch anyway and I am having my birthday party anyway as well, so I will spontaneously decide what I'll do and say.

I must say, five years ago I'd have found this sort of drama kinda exciting, now it is just annoying and tiring.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:55 pm
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Well, I rediscovered my balls and despite every single one of my friends advising against it, I talked to her sister about it - which was absolutely the right decision and she was just as supportive and understanding as I hoped and expected. Shows that listening to your gut is sometimes most important. She wasn't entirely shocked either, apparently she and another friends of ours have already joked about it in the past considering how much we have been hanging out. She said she'd be very happy for me and for her sister, but, as I expected, she also warned me about her sister's bad history with relationships. Either way, she said she'll be very happy for us if it works out and she'll be there for me if it doesn't or if I decide not to disclose anything, but just someone to talk to. Considering both sisters are currently closer to me than to each other, there is no danger that she will tell her, but she also has no idea what her sister is thinking because they don't talk much to each other anymore.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:54 am
Profile WWW
Keeping it Light
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:06 am
Posts: 10173
Location: Bright Falls
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Nice, that's a positive.


Tue Jan 17, 2017 11:52 am
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
I needed a positive, so yeah.

Now it is just the matter whether I'll tell Emily on Friday or not. Thing is that we have breakfast and dance classes planned for after that, so telling her Friday might ruin these things. I am just impatient...

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:52 pm
Profile WWW
KJ's Leading Pundit
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm
Posts: 62765
Location: Tonight... YOU!
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Don't tell her Friday. For the love of god.

_________________
trixster wrote:
shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element

trixster wrote:
chippy is correct

Rev wrote:
Fuck Trump


Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:02 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Interestingly, opinions are split among my close friends whether I should tell it to her then or not (in the end, I will always do what my gut feeling tells me anyway). Some think it is not the right place and time, others think that it is better than uncomfortable silence and awkwardness if it happens in a one-on-one situation.

One thing for sure, I will certainly say or do something on Friday, if it is only a compliment or whatever.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:06 pm
Profile WWW
The Original
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 10:19 am
Posts: 9808
Location: Suisse
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Dr. Lecter wrote:
but, as I expected, she also warned me about her sister's bad history with relationships.


Did she go into details with that?

_________________
Libs wrote:
FILMO, I'd rather have you eat chocolate syrup off my naked body than be a moderator here.


Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:11 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
FILMO wrote:
Dr. Lecter wrote:
but, as I expected, she also warned me about her sister's bad history with relationships.


Did she go into details with that?


She didn't have to. I know most of it.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 2:09 pm
Profile WWW
now we know
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm
Posts: 63719
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Good luck.

_________________
#RAMBO5 ... 20th SEPTEMBER 2019


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:00 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Not sure with what precisely, but I'll take it, thanks.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:03 pm
Profile WWW
now we know
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm
Posts: 63719
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Dr. Lecter wrote:
Not sure with what precisely, but I'll take it, thanks.

With whatever you decide to do on ... dum dum dum ... FRIDAY!

_________________
#RAMBO5 ... 20th SEPTEMBER 2019


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:04 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Yeah... For better or worse, I don't think it will be a conscious decision. I am looking to my birthday party (because it is the big event I get to organize each year) and I'm dreading it at the same time. My emotional turmoil aside, I have 30+ guests to entertain and guide from location to location (13 in total) in subzero temperatures. I have been planning it for weeks and usually I live for this shit, throwing big wild parties. But lately, my mind has just been elsewhere.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:22 pm
Profile WWW
So much has happened to me that I don’t understand
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2005 2:30 am
Posts: 32345
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
What do you think doing the best thing by HER would be? Or what she would want you to do?

_________________
I’m disagreeing with you because I love to argue, not because I dislike you.


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:37 pm
Profile
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
If I knew it, I wouldn't be so conflicted ;) Maybe she would just want me to never say anything about it whatsoever.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:40 pm
Profile WWW
You must have big rats
User avatar

Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
Post Re: Dilemmas and decisions
Putting that possibility aside, I think that she would want honesty. Her sister certainly did and was glad I told her now instead of her finding out about it later.

Under what circumstances? Knowing her, I think she could be uncomfortable with both options in different ways (more pressure and a hectic environment on Friday, more awkwardness when in private). I guess she would prefer the latter, however, I don't think that I can ONLY think about what she would prefer.

That being said, what is more likely is that I will ask her out for a dinner or a coffee on Friday for some time later, instead of giving the full disclosure. That, unless, she initiates the talk herself. I will certainly not lie then.

_________________
The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!

Image


Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:46 pm
Profile WWW
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 300 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.