Is she as hot as Ross and Monica's cousin?

Don't remember "Friends" that well. Had to google it. Denise Richards, eh? Well, I'd say the same level of attractiveness and effect on men, though different looking.

For one, she is in a relationship right now. For another, yes, I am much closer to her as a friend, which is exactly why I would not go after her. As I said, I find her very attractive, but I am not "attracted" to her (anymore) because she feels more like my sister. She's justa very close and important friend. Alas, I cannot discuss the issue with her as it is about her sister.

What, buddy, you wouldn't fuck me?

Might this have anything to do with your past relationship not working out? Even when girls say they're ok with things, they can be not.


Also a good denominator to gauge her interest would be if you would date some other girls and ask for her opinion on it. It would make her feel that, there's other girls interested and people generally want to have thing desirable things so it might make her think at least about the possibility of being with you.

Also she probably definitely doesn't want to be your rebound, so she probably wants to make sure you're completely over your ex before developing anything with you.

And I wouldn't worry about the difference in looks part at all, women care more about the personality anyway.

Being friends with her AND with her sister surely complicates the whole thing undeniably, so yeah I can image you tread lightly.



So, what about her previous bf's. What's the longest relationship she's been in? Do you know why those relationships didn't work out and could you be different and better. Does she even want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. I guess I'm trying to say, if you're close to her and you know what she's looking for, then give this to her.

It is funny how people's own opinion of themselves is always so flattering. I just didn't realise we had entered an era of seeing the Hunchback of Notre Dame as a "7-8".

Not sure what you mean? Jealousy because I had so many friends that are girls? If so, then no, that was certainly not the reason at any point.



Well, I don't plan on just dating some other girls as a means of achieving some goal. If I date someone, I date someone because I am interested in them, so that would kinda defeat the whole purpose.



When I first met her, she was in her longest relationship to date. I think it lasted 4-5 years, but they separated over three years ago. Ever since then she has had at least 3-4 relationships, none of which lasted for more than 5-6 months. Some guys she just wasn't into enough, as she found it with time, others were just rude assholes, that she rightfully separated from. Frankly, she does not exactly know what she is looking for. She could not really imagine being alone after her long relationship, living alone or going on vacation alone. But I convinced her to try out the latter and now she is loving it and always travels alone, becoming more and more independent. Frankly, she is one of the classic examples of our generation as in: not knowing exactly what they want from life.

Also, the above implies that I am definitely interested in a relationship with her and truth of the matter is - I do not know yet if I am. I find her interesting and I am attracted to her. But I also know myself well enough to know that I am prone to making more rash decisions than usual in a situation like a current one and the last thing I do know is whether I am interested in any new relationship at all at the moment.

Just because she is not single, doesn't mean your chances with her are over.

He is friend-zoned anyway so all of this is useless.

So she has dated "some" rude assholes ? How many times has she dated the rude assholes ?

That would be the thing I would want to know.

Otherwise make a move.
-with the risque of loosing the friendship
-having a certain chance to be suddleny left for an asshole
-or things turn out well
-or leave it and keep the friendship


But it sounds a bit that things could be over in a year not by your fault but because of the thing you mentioned above.

And I guess you know it. If she already all the time is talking about her previous relationships and the involved drama then you might be friendzoned.

whatver make your call soon. Time-Window is cloosing.

If she has dated assholes, then she has a lot of experience to be able to deal with Lecter.

Be an asshole GL, then she'll come to you.

you're welcome

Well, actually just one when I think about it. We do not spend much time talking about her relationships, only after they are over. But of course being friends you accumulate this knowledge over time.

Yeah, not sure if jealousy is the right word, but just that she well feels insecure because you're frequently hanging out with other girls. Just checking, as for many girls I can imagine this would be an issue.

Because of this I would say, just hold off on making any advances, you're not sure what you might break for something that's you're not even sure off in the first place.

It seems likely that at this time, on the rebound, you just have a heightened sense of attraction to her and your mind is probably not clear enough to see whether you'd get out of this what you want besides physical pleasure.

Also brings me to the point. Did you ever have such feelings for her before since you knew her?
I guess you were in a relationship before, so you didn't open yourself up to it, but I imagine usually you don't just suddenly like someone more.

And lastly, if you're really good friends and you worry about breaking that up, is she really such a good friend if you also can't discuss each others feelings to each other. It seems in your previous relationship, your ex complained that you never really opened up, and maybe you've generally never been really doing it with this friend either.

Since "friend-zoned" she probably will be completely blind sided by it if you open up about it, but in being really good friends I'd say it actually should be OK. Because if she would have no understanding for your feelings to the point she doesn't even want to be good friends anymore, is she really even a good friend in the first place?

Do not worry about messing up your friendship. If she's a real friend, she would not let it.

That is correct.



Our entire friendship has been during the time of my previous relationship, so yeah, it was different. I have always found her attractive, yes, but never "attracted", possibly because I wasn't opening up. Also, our friendship did grow closer over the last months and the contact intensified which obviously had to do with my break-up.




In an ideal world, you are right. I mean, it would not break up the friendship, I am sure. But it would change it and it would change the way we are around each other. I mean it is inevitable, at least for a long while. I have sen it happen to others several times. The yusually stayed friends, but the friendship wasn't as close as it used to be. I mean if Algren opened up to you tomorrow that he has been harboring a secret gay crush for you for a while now, would it not change things even a bit?

lol oh zwackerm

Especially LOL, because while reading this thread THAT actually did cross my mind, but in the scenario where I would be opening up: "how would he react?"

And your situation is pretty much the same as if it would be with any girl. If the feelings are not mutual there's going to be some form of awkwardness and that's what you want to avoid.

I think what Rev said pretty much earlier applies every time when trying to woo a girl.


Sure, it's kind of like playing a game, but that the way it seems to work...make her wonder/ question herself by your dis-attention to her, and she's likely the one to make a move.

Being a friend to her, is probably the last thing that will help in getting closer.

Don't do that. Being an asshole is so idiotic. Especially when trying to "woo" someone. If being an asshole works, then she probably prefers being treated like shit, which means you have a fixer upper on your hands.

Shit. Lecter's found me out!

Its not like I ever took that approach in consideration...

With all the girls I have successfully wooed in the past I have been friendly and not an asshole. Playful digs, sure, but not an asshole.

Also, as said before, wooing her is actually not my primary thought at the moment, but much rather whether I actually want to and what exactly it is that I want.