Good review, Algren. I similarly watched this for the first time in many years, but was unable to even get past 30 minutes (although I can imagine it'd work better with some sort of drinking game.... Take a shot any time there's a racist stereotype). Terrible CGI, bad acting, terrible screenwriting, terribly racist and unfunny. I couldn't even get to the "good" parts, it didn't seem worth the toll on my soul. Fuck this movie.

Cheers dude.

30 minutes in, isn't that the fish chase? Awesome scene! "There's always a bigger fish."

Indeed. Sadly for the wrong reasons.

I'm most likely gonna rewatch everything before 7 but god I don't know about rewatching this, haven't in over 10 years I think.

I would suggest not re-watching it. Just start at Episode III or better yet, Episode IV.

truth

Rewatched this. it's biggest issue is it's unevenness. It's a scene for kids followed by politics followed by a scene for kids. I'm able to enjoy both, but it's certainly noticeable. I think my parents must have fast forwarded past Coruscant when I was little because I don't remember those scenes from then.

Because they're bad.

I like them now though.

I’m rewatching all of the “Episodes” in the series leading up to Last Jedi. I’m doing it in the “Machete Order”. I’ve already re-watched A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. They’re still classics. According to some versions of the “Machete Order” you can skip Episode I all together and just go to II, but I’m a completist. I also haven’t seen the entire film in...15 years? I always defended it as a kids film, but nowhere near as good as the original three. But holy hell...

The Phantom Menace is what happens when a creative genius goes unchecked. Who was going to tell George Lucas no? Who was going to tell him that Jar Jar Binks is both, a) unbelievably annoying, and b) blatantly racist? There’s also Watto...

But no, Lucas created Star Wars and co-created Indiana Jones. He knows what he’s doing...

Does it help that the first FORTY (40!) minutes could’ve been cut out of the movie? The movie could’ve started in the underwater city and it would’ve made just as much sense. Or just cut out anything having to do with Jar Jar and start at Tattooine. The movie is supposed to be about Anakin, right? But no, taxes and senate deliberations. That’s the plot of a Star Wars movie...a children’s film... Can’t say no to Lucas.

The movie has two things going for it. John Williams is John Williams and the lightsaber fight at the end is the best in the series. Ewan McGregor must’ve trained for months. That’s about all I can muster. The acting ranges from good (Liam Neeson) to fucking terrible. It’s kind of unfair to pick on child actors, but I don’t know how Jake Lloyd manages to go the entire film without saying one line naturally. Even his exclamations come off wooden (“Yippee!”). And did Natalie Portman forget how inflection works. Every line is monotone. Maybe Lucas thought it would provide the material a certain gravitas? I can’t wait to re-experience what Hayden Christensen has up his sleeve (Sand!).

But hey, it looks pretty! (For twenty years ago)

——-

A New Hope - *****
The Empire Strikes Back - *****

The Pacific Ocean

The Phantom Menace

D+

Was rewatching this before the Last Jedi comes out on Blu ray. Still really fun, it's obviously not as good as the OT but it's fun in its own way.

It tries to emulate the best elements of the series and ends up executing them in the worst ways. The first half here is definitely not interesting enough but once the action starts the story starts to develop as well. Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor do very well and I didn't connect with Darth Maul as a worthy villain. The direction seemed unsure where to go and while the action scenes have the crispness the heavy bits land with a thud.

B-