First, they gave us CRAPWOMAN to laugh at during the summer. Now, they provide us with another joke of a film for the holidays. WHat better gift to ask for?


And of course RT is right there to track the brutal bashing of the film:


"A long, lumpy trip with a charismatic guide and some brilliant detours." [box-2005's interpretation: The film not only drags, but doesn't flow along in a general direction, veering off the path]

"From a visual standpoint, Alexander is phenomenal"
[box-2005's interpretation: But from all other standpoints, it sucks]


"This movie does everything to the max."
[box-2005's interpretation: This movie does everything to the max, to the point of overdoing it]


Ok, those were the fresh ones. Now for some rotten ones:

"Puerile writing, confused plotting and shockingly off-note performances make Oliver Stone's epic film a disappointment."


"A swollen behemoth of a celluloid monster -- sometimes mildly interesting, but most of the time downright boring."

"Alexander often seems a couple of heartbeats away from turning into a gay porno film." [box-2005 words of occasionally false wisdom: box office receipts plummet by $5m in Texas but are up 567% in San Francisco...]

Pretty much a mess, an alternately turgid and florid movie that feels like a drugged-out version of a Cecil B. DeMille epic."

"Towards the end of this movie, I wanted to kill Alexander just to get it over with and go home. Even Rosario Dawson’s supposedly stunning nudity was over-hyped." [note: Terrible WOM due to not enough female nudity]

"An enormous cinematic mess. Alexander is not so much mind-numbingly boring as it is intriguingly nonsensical."

"With its rampant homoeroticism, elaborate costumes and jumbled fight choreography, one would assume this is a Joel Schumacher flick not an Oliver Stone production."

"It is such a majestic disaster, that I have a bizarre sort of affection for it, like for a weirdly deformed child, maybe."

"Even at the end of three hours, the accents still never stopped being an annoyance. "

"A horrendously bad movie, a genuine 40-car pile-up of literally epic proportions, a three-way head-on collision of bad writing, bad acting, and bad direction."

"Farrell often looks constipated, like he needs to get off that horse and hit the commode as opposed to hold onto his troops or his audience."

"Time, it has been said, waits for no man—a fact I was keenly aware of two minutes into the nearly three-hour debacle that is "Alexander.""

"The real Alexander the Great conquered the world. Oliver Stone’s touchy-feely-weepy Alexander would be lucky to last three rounds against Margaret O’Brien."

"Our history teachers may have been bores, but at least the bell rang before they became wearying."


MUCH MORE OF THIS:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alexander/


Can you say...

BOMB

box, we have some extensive discussion in the "And the Award Goes to..." forum about Alexander. For its box office performance, I'm going lower as well, probably not as low as yours, but in the 15M 3-day range. The bad WOM from the first two days will kill it.

To be honest, I can' recall another movie with this kind of oscar aspiration to get panned this much critically. You assume with Oliver Stone, the basic quality of the film should be assured, but pretty much all are calling it his worst movie in the last 20 years.