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 Your WoKJ persona 
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Post Your WoKJ persona
Are you the same person on here as you are in the real world?

There's a slight culture of bluntness and disrespect in member interactions on WoKJ---not only concerning Algren---and I was wondering if people carry themselves the same way in-person.

If you're a daily visitor it might be less noticeable, but compared with any psychology forum, for example this one, most diagnosed sociopaths interact with more agreeableness than many members do here. That's not an exaggeration.

Which isn't meant to sound dramatic---WoKJ's still the tastiest forum in the cosmos---but it's curious.

As it stands, it's acceptable to disparage someone for their opinion, and it's normal to post responses as bluntly as an unmasked psychopath would. And the expectation for anyone with a problem---use the block function.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, read through practically any topic with several pages, and visualise the dialogue happening face-to-face---more often than not, it'll sound like two autistic children with zero sense of their interlocutor having feelings. Total absence of empathy, cognitive or otherwise. The Wonder Women review thread is a mild example.

Rudeness begets rudeness. Why aren't we nicer to each other?


Last edited by Gamaur on Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:25 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
What a juicy topic for your return.

And I'm the only member to get a mention. Still can't get me out of your head, huh? ;)


Sat Nov 18, 2017 4:01 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
You’re my Taylor Sloane xo


Hopefully the OP didn’t sound personal; mentioned you as you’d likely be the first poster to come to mind, when it’s really about numerous posters, myself previously included, and the specifics are irrelevent.


Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:37 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I’m even nicer in real life :D

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Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:00 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
There is not an apples to apples comparison for me to know if I am the same on here as I am in real life. There is not a place in real life where I go to chat about a mutual interest. I mean, I go to work, but that is different. We're there for a common goal, and I get paid to be there so I tend not to tell people how moronic their ideas and thoughts are. But in terms of expressing my own ideas, I'd say that is the same, although I rarely get into conversations or debates. I am much the same as on here in that regard. A colleague gives their opinion, I give mine. If there is resistance, I let them think they are right because I rarely care about their point of view. They can carry on rambling, playing it up to the rest of the office as if they are educating me, and that's fine. I do not care in the slightest about my work colleagues and what they think of me. I think it is important to just be honest, so I value that in myself, and I believe I am honest on KJ as I am in life, even to the point where I am happy to say if I didn't know something. I do not see learning as a failure like most on the Internet do.


Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:31 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Excellent response. I have a friend similar to you in conversation, actually, and he's one of the few people whose feedback I can rely on. (So long as it doesn't require him listening for too long).

Sounds like you have clear awareness of your self-interest when sharing ideas.

How often do you feel contempt or annoyance when speaking to people? Sometimes there's the impression in your posts that not only does the other poster's point-of-view not matter, by neither do they matter that much as people.

I've also been guilty of this---every forumer on the internet has been at some point---so to clarify, this is meant as a discussion, not some kind of challenge. Looked at objectively, how we project ourselves and interact with each other should be pretty interesting.


Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:20 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
2006-2009: Interests aside, definitely not.
2010-Current: Yeah, quite similar. As Algren said, it's difficult to make a direct comparison, but there isn't a noticeable area where I'd consider my online/real-life persona differing much.

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Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:01 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Gamaur wrote:
How often do you feel contempt or annoyance when speaking to people? Sometimes there's the impression in your posts that not only does the other poster's point-of-view not matter, by neither do they matter that much as people.


Very rarely do I get annoyed when speaking to people. I also do not feel contempt either. I do not believe people (me or others) should command respect as a right. I think that has to be earned, and for me that is rarely earned by forum members. I imagine that feeling is mutual with a lot of forum members too. And regarding whether people's point-of-view (or themselves as people) matter, it really depends who I am talking to and what we're talking about, and in that regard it is easier to treat forum members with disdain than a person I see in real life. If I am talking to my boss about work, his opinion matters because he is paying my salary. But if we're talking about films or anything related to my life, then I am as opinionated as I have been on KJ. But all of this changes with age anyway. I am way less dogmatic than ten years ago. There isn't really much fire in my belly anymore to argue about pointless things, which is why I am happy to have a simple exchange of ideas then either nod in agreement or agree to disagree.


Sat Nov 18, 2017 12:10 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I’m a lot more reserved in person.

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Sat Nov 18, 2017 1:39 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I commit far less spelling and grammar errors in real life.

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Sat Nov 18, 2017 3:19 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Algren wrote:
Gamaur wrote:
How often do you feel contempt or annoyance when speaking to people? Sometimes there's the impression in your posts that not only does the other poster's point-of-view not matter, by neither do they matter that much as people.


Very rarely do I get annoyed when speaking to people. I also do not feel contempt either. I do not believe people (me or others) should command respect as a right. I think that has to be earned, and for me that is rarely earned by forum members. I imagine that feeling is mutual with a lot of forum members too. And regarding whether people's point-of-view (or themselves as people) matter, it really depends who I am talking to and what we're talking about, and in that regard it is easier to treat forum members with disdain than a person I see in real life. If I am talking to my boss about work, his opinion matters because he is paying my salary. But if we're talking about films or anything related to my life, then I am as opinionated as I have been on KJ. But all of this changes with age anyway. I am way less dogmatic than ten years ago. There isn't really much fire in my belly anymore to argue about pointless things, which is why I am happy to have a simple exchange of ideas then either nod in agreement or agree to disagree.


This all adds up. If it's your belief that people need to earn your respect, them sometimes feeling disrespected becomes unavoidable. One response to this might be that you're insensitive, another, that you have a high standard for engagement, and a low standard for bullshit. I think it's all three, which is why, to me, you're very likeable.

Coupling that kind of value-set with how prolifically you post, your style may even have influence. Especially when considering that other members with a similar level of influence often post in the same manner (with a difference in core beliefs).

Faced with an implied lack of respect before they've earned it, new or timid posters might conceivably feel compelled to adapt and adopt their own "tit for tat" approach in response---a turreted bunker in their communication that protects their self-worth. Or, another possibility, that they have a social anxiety strong enough to present online, and don't post at all.

This actually gives the place the mild redolence of a club, a venue that demands a degree of confidence and testosterone. A feministic anti-bullying advocate's worst fucking nightmare.

And, depending on how you look at it, that's either a problem, or part of the hook. Considered with the Mos Eisley Cantina mix of personalities around here, I just think it makes it a kind of warped social oasis. Irresistible to people as idiosyncratic as you and me, but, it's easy to empathise with those that experience a problem.


Last edited by Gamaur on Sun Nov 19, 2017 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:55 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
My online persona is more narcissistic and like my father


Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:02 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I am mostly more agreeable and apologetic in real life as well. But I also try to keep my point of view where I need to even with my higher-ups. The people who report to me have been very happy just recently people teams/companies have offered me to come back. I am more of a listening first and then putting my point of view in real life which I am not always here at the forum. A lot of times the external things or work pressure reflects in forum here and sometimes vice-versa (if I am sad a movie didn't do well).

So I am different in some aspects but the same in most.

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Sat Nov 18, 2017 10:27 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Magnus wrote:
I commit far less spelling and grammar errors in real life.


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Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:01 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Purposefully more abrasive online, but mostly the same.

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Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:24 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
What do you reckon causes bullishness when posting online?

It mightn't be related, but there’s been a statistical decline in student empathy since smart phones became ubiquitous. Something about the drop in face-to-face time meaning less opportunity for kids to learn the real-world emotional impact of their behaviour (which is much better communicated through physical expression). We’re supposedly becoming less connected to the inner-lives and sensations of those around us; especially so when speaking via text and removed from the visceral feedback of their emotional responses. As we are on a forum like this.

Which could be total bullshit, but it makes sense that the illusion of the Self would be stronger online, where you’re basically a big omnipotent Viewfinder at the centre of all human experience, and no-one else matters or exists until you've contemplated that they do. Everything being all about the Self — me — the unwitting solipsist.

Something tells me there's a bunch of nice guys out there who've fashioned these warrior-like communication styles, like intimidation masks, as a way to hide their vulnerabilities from actual assholes.


Tue Nov 21, 2017 6:40 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Hard to argue against that. You're onto something!


Tue Nov 21, 2017 8:22 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I'm more or less the same.


Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:14 pm
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Same as in WOKJ. So in real life I'm Gamaur's sex slave too.


Thu Nov 23, 2017 7:22 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Honestly, when I'm on KJ it literally feels like that scene in Superman III when Clark Kent comes out of him.

I'd say in real life 70/30 favoring clark, here 80/20 favoring Evil Supes.

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Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:31 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Price wrote:
Same as in WOKJ. So in real life I'm Gamaur's sex slave too.


Another word out of you and I'll start putting exfoliating grains in the lube again.



Thegun wrote:
Honestly, when I'm on KJ it literally feels like that scene in Superman III when Clark Kent comes out of him.

I'd say in real life 70/30 favoring clark, here 80/20 favoring Evil Supes.


I've spoken to you enough off WoKJ to know you're a really good bloke, even if it hasn't been in person. Seems like you're more yourself on here these days?


Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:55 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
What about you, Gamaur. When is this nicey-nice persona going to end? You're putting on a bit of an act as well, right? Wasn't it only a few months ago that you were a self-declared loon?


Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:08 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
I'm about the same, maybe more gregarious in person. Have worn an online mask before, but dropped it when I started posting about those girl issues I was having a few years ago, and roughly 20,000 bros came out of the WoKJ woodwork to give advice and support. Still one of the coolest things I've been a part of, period.

There was an interesting paradigm-shift between some of us when personal stuff was talked about authentically. Wasn't just that people were friendlier, but everyone seemed more three-dimensional, somehow. Hard to explain, but there was a genuine sense of fellowship and acceptance, at least in my interactions, so becoming more sincere from then on seemed logical.


Fri Nov 24, 2017 4:53 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Just wanted to add, even though being a cynical tough guy can be entertaining, it's really the easy position in a place like this. Much harder to be yourself; and even harder to be mindful of the selves of other forumers. Kind of analogous to that weird About A Boy kid every primary school has, whose parents encourage his individuality to the ridicule of his classmates, and who normally ends up getting the shit kicked out of him.

I think that kid's story has conditioned all of us, in a way: from a young age, we are taught, very persuasively, that being authentic is predictive of some form of pain. And then, to compound things like a motherfucker, the irony-rich atmosphere of Western culture—which sets the perfect context for any form of deception—is in part predicated on the ridicule of sincerity, shifting the natural response to it from respectful amiableness to passive ridicule. As a collective this forms the motivating force behind the desire to remain hidden, but as real as the threat of ridicule might seem, the whole thing is just a massive waste of potential. The story about the kid turns out to be bullshit: people actually respect conviction. Even predatory assholes. And there's an important corollary, too: bullies will often infer weakness from a lack of vulnerabilities being exposed. So if you behave any more staunchly than ordinary, to them you'll look like a dweeb in a wolf costume, and to everyone else you'll just be another asshole.

Besides, being authentic might be harder than being a dick, but it's still pretty easy. No more complex than saying what you're thinking, maintaining the same values you hold elsewhere.


Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:48 am
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Post Re: Your WoKJ persona
Some people just want to watch the world burn.


Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:57 am
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