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 Second Year of University! 
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
To be frank:

You are delusionizing yourself with someone who said they wanted nothing with you that way to begin with(And she did the nice way of saying if Mario didn't come along)

PS she is horrible for saying "Id be with you if something better did't come along" And I'm not sure if that is you embellishing, but that is a horrible statement for someone to say to someone.

You really need to branch out of this group. I get that you are religious, but man you are the outcast of probably the smallest group in the college. Can't you just go to lunch and sit at a random table and introduce yourself? Or just go to someone in class and strike up a conversation with someone. What I used to do. Find a girl that hasn't seen a great movie, have her come over and see it. It might not lead to anything, but maybe you hook up, or maybe you just get a friend out of it. Read the situation. I can guarantee you will be rejected, but it will help with the social awkwardness, but there will be a few that say yes to a movie or study session. This group just sounds super toxic now. Why not theater? Even if you don't get an audition there has to be improv or sketch comedy auditions. And talk about your love of Disney songs, people will follow, but don't only do that. Talk about other things.

The "friendship" will never work if you are desperate for it, and that's what you sound like. Then it becomes the only thing people talk about quietly in the group.

You still do the religious stuff and stay in touch with the few that didn't wrong you.

But you cut mostly everyone else off, and really try. It might be painful. But you stick to it, and do things with other people. But these are good people and they will say "Dam I really miss William" and you will come back in, and hopefully in a more experienced way. You guys are spending way too much time together.

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Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:56 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
She said more along the lines of “you’re a great guy, but I think there’s a better fit for me and I already liked Mario when I rejected you and I don’t know if things would have been different if he weren’t around”.

And I don’t think abandoning this group is a good idea. I’m not mad or resentful, but it’s still incredibly hard to see them together. I truly care deeply about both of them (at least for now) and if they find happiness with each other I don’t want to get in the way of that. I think I can still be friends with them despite the fact I wish things were different.”


Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:14 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm wrote:
it’s still incredibly hard to see them together. I truly care deeply about both of them


I think you need to suggest a ménage à trois. ;)


Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:21 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm wrote:
She said more along the lines of “you’re a great guy, but I think there’s a better fit for me and I already liked Mario when I rejected you and I don’t know if things would have been different if he weren’t around”.

And I don’t think abandoning this group is a good idea. I’m not mad or resentful, but it’s still incredibly hard to see them together. I truly care deeply about both of them (at least for now) and if they find happiness with each other I don’t want to get in the way of that. I think I can still be friends with them despite the fact I wish things were different.”


I didn't say abandon the group. But you have to branch out, and slightly ice them out. Why not bring a girl to these movie nights out of the group?

This will get you thicker skin. And I'm not talking about your group. You need it for real life. You can't have this imploding mentality. Imagine when you date someone and it goes bad. Whatever you are feeling now, it's only gonna get worst in real life. If you don't do it now, you're gonna hurt the rest of your life.

I got the cold shoulder from a Sorority because I dated one girl and she went crazy so I ended it and said we are going to get back together. And the only reason I know that is a friend from high school was in the same sorority and said there was literally a meeting about me, that I was not to be touched so they could get back together. And I was like "WTF we had 5 dates at most"

There are countless people I care dearly about that I don't talk to anymore because it's good for ME. Everyone goes through this. You'll never be friends with people you wish they would fail. And if they do (And of course they will) you will be even worse in the group for trying again. BRANCH OUT, that's all Im saying

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Sat Dec 09, 2017 12:19 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Not really hanging out with Mario feels so weird. He still hasn’t forgiven me. Belle forgave me immediately. It’s just weird because I thought that since me and Mario were way closer, he’d forgive me faster. But it seems he won’t forgive me until next semester. All I’ve gotten him to say is “I don’t necessarily think our close friendship has to be over forever”. But he refused to give me any more reassurance than that.


Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:04 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Give the man some space. If you start more drama it'll make it worse

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Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:39 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
Give the man some space. If you start more drama it'll make it worse

I just hoped he’d forgive me before the semester ended. Belle forgave me immediately.


Fri Dec 15, 2017 11:03 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
He told you all you need to know when he said this:

Quote:
"William, when you were chasing Belle, I was on your side, rooting for you the whole time. I didn't expect it, but I really hoped that when I told you about me and Belle, you'd be on my team. But you weren't and that told me you were not always going to put your needs after that of your friends. So I just gotta say, I don't trust you at all man. I still like you, we can still be friends, but we will have to rebuild trust and intimacy next semester. I don't want to hang out with you one on one like we used to. I don't want to go to breakfast or be vulnerable. It's all gone. We will either rebuild next semester; or we won't. Things just won't be the same at the start, and maybe they won't ever."


He doesn't want to hang out for a while cause you broke his trust. If you bring things up again with him I would make it clear that you 100% support him and Belle being together and have moved on to other girls.

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Fri Dec 15, 2017 11:41 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
He told you all you need to know when he said this:

Quote:
"William, when you were chasing Belle, I was on your side, rooting for you the whole time. I didn't expect it, but I really hoped that when I told you about me and Belle, you'd be on my team. But you weren't and that told me you were not always going to put your needs after that of your friends. So I just gotta say, I don't trust you at all man. I still like you, we can still be friends, but we will have to rebuild trust and intimacy next semester. I don't want to hang out with you one on one like we used to. I don't want to go to breakfast or be vulnerable. It's all gone. We will either rebuild next semester; or we won't. Things just won't be the same at the start, and maybe they won't ever."


He doesn't want to hang out for a while cause you broke his trust. If you bring things up again with him I would make it clear that you 100% support him and Belle being together and have moved on to other girls.

Yeah, we shouldn’t forget what happened but forgiveness is supposed to come pretty fast, especially for someone who should be emulating the love of Jesus Christ. I agreed space was a good idea, but I didn’t expect such a grudge. I think he’s being unfair anyway. He would have been pissed initially if it were the other way around too. He shouldn’t expect me to be perfect and make no mistakes.


Sat Dec 16, 2017 10:27 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
You do not get it.

This whole "other way around" is the worst argument ever. Here's what happened:

Guy is your friend and wanted you to win.
You struck out for 18 months, so he knew it would never happen.
They developed feelings and tried their best not to hurt you
You publicly were resentful and made fun of the relationship constantly, hoping it would fail.
You think it's unfair that he doesn't forgive you in a month.

You need to walk away from this, and really give it time. There is nothing worse then the person who you currently hate constantly comes up with you and pesters them about why they hate you. Give at least 3 months.He'll come to you when he is ready.

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Sun Dec 17, 2017 9:38 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Thegun wrote:
You do not get it.

This whole "other way around" is the worst argument ever. Here's what happened:

Guy is your friend and wanted you to win.
You struck out for 18 months, so he knew it would never happen.
They developed feelings and tried their best not to hurt you
You publicly were resentful and made fun of the relationship constantly, hoping it would fail.
You think it's unfair that he doesn't forgive you in a month.

You need to walk away from this, and really give it time. There is nothing worse then the person who you currently hate constantly comes up with you and pesters them about why they hate you. Give at least 3 months.He'll come to you when he is ready.


Made fun of it constantly? I was only jealous and mad for like 2 and a half days.
I think it is fair to be a little jealous; I think it's human nature. Belle even said "it's okay to be mad; I know if I were you I would hate us." I was just thinking about how he kept it from me for weeks and how I'd have to watch him with her for at least the foreseeable future, doing all the couple things. Living the life I wanted. That's hard as shit. All my other friends, including Belle, were surprised I came around so quickly, and all of our mutual friends, including Belle, think he should have at least said the words "I forgive you" by now. He's totally just getting a kick out of holding it over my head at this point. Whenever I saw him the last couple weeks since my apology, I could tell that he really didn't want to hold back and be distant, but he felt I needed to be punished. And I do, to the extent of not hanging out with him for the last two weeks of the semester. But having him still holding this grudge is occupying my thoughts for most of my waking hours. I forgave him for lying about his feelings for Belle, about the trip, and how they'd basically already been together for like 3 weeks. I don't think what I did is any worse. I also think for some reason he fears I'll come between them somehow. He's very insecure about losing her already and they've been dating officially less than two weeks,

And why is the other way around the worst argument ever? It helped me be okay with them after realizing I'd be doing the same thing in his shoes.


Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:24 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
He has every right to feel like you broke his trust. You talked shit behind his back and rooted for his relationship to fail.

Why don't you just be the best friend you can be? Which is to listen to him when he said he wants space and support him and Belle being together. You're asking him to be a more loyal friend to you, instead of taking the steps to be a more loyal friend to him

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Mon Dec 18, 2017 3:49 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Seriously dude. I know you’re all Jesus this and forgiveness that. But you did the guy wrong. And that’s normal life. And normal people don’t forgive usually, and if they do it’s only at face value. And you’re getting into weird vibes that he is relishing in his punishment? That’s ludicrous.

Strike up a conversation with someone you never did with today. You can even mention that you are doing this because you want to get out of your normal routine. And just be simple, what are your holiday plans? And do not mention Jesus!

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Mon Dec 18, 2017 8:52 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Thegun wrote:
And do not mention Jesus!

:rofl:


Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:12 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
Why don't you just be the best friend you can be? Which is to listen to him when he said he wants space and support him and Belle being together.


I'm doing both of those things already. I've been giving him as much space as possible, but he also said "don't avoid me completely and pretend we don't know each other". The semester is now over and I won't see him till the end of January, but we see each other like 5, 6 or 7 days a week because of mutual friends and activities. And I've been in support of their relationship since two Sundays ago.

I don't want to be best friends or go back to hanging out all the time. I just want there to be no hard feelings.

But I don't recall rooting for their relationship to fail? When I first found out I thought "no way they'll break up, they'd never hurt each other." True I didn't want them together because of my jealousy, but I don't think that's the same.

He has told me exactly the reason he is mad. He does not care all that much about the fact that I was mad. He is worried that I am going to still try and get Belle to like me instead of him. He says he believes me when I say I don't go after girls with boyfriends. But this still bothers him for some reason. She likes him and not me and he shouldn't be so paranoid, because that will hurt their relationship more than I ever could.


Mon Dec 18, 2017 12:29 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
I finally get The Last Jedi now, and The Room, and the Matrix, and I Heart Huckabees. But Zwacks? You are the most frustrating thing in existence. How are you not getting THIS?

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Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:41 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
How's it going with Mario?

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Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:54 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
How's it going with Mario?

He actually texted me and forgave me today! But he’s still being a little weird, I have to see him in person before I believe he’s not just saying it.


Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:36 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Just saying it confirmed! Admitted to me last night he’s still mad! :funny: :funny: :funny:


Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:17 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Have you said you're sorry?

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Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:03 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
Have you said you're sorry?


More times than I can count lol.

All our friends think he's being a child. The only reason anyone's hanging out with him right now is because they're friends with Belle, and he's still her boyfriend. But Ariel, Michelle, Marisa, and all of our other friends are incredibly disappointed. Even Belle has admitted that he's less attractive to her now than he once was. He's sabotaging his own relationship and it's hilarious to watch! Not because I still give one crap about dating Belle, but because it would serve him right for being such an awful friend to me, and because she deserves someone who isn't so jealous, petty and possessive. He's still being incredibly rude to me in front of all of our friends. Everyone thinks he should get the fuck over it, considering it's been almost two months.

I'm certainly taking a hands off approach at this point. I've told him I have no interest in communicating with him unless he initiates it, and not through text. Lately it seems he feels he can police what I do/can't do with Belle. He likes to send me little lists of what I do that makes him uncomfortable. It's all bullshit, and all my friends told me not to give in and enable him. We think he thinks that if she stays friends with me, she'll eventually leave him for me. We think he's trying to manipulate me into not seeing her anymore. But what he doesn't realize is that he's the one making that look like an appealing option right now. But he's thick as a brick, he's always been as thick as a brick ever since I've known him. I have plenty of friends at this point that I don't need him and I can just take pleasure in sitting back and watching his relationship go up in flames.

It's hilarious, because he's acting so miserable being the guy with the girl in his dreams, and I'm super happy right now being the guy still single. And this guy thinks he should be a pastor too, lol. He's ready to transfer already and he's super over our school. Everyone's tired of hearing him complain about not only me, but the fact he's stuck at our school for one more semester.

So even if Belle still doesn't like me after they break up, I'll still come out on top over him in the end most likely, which will be satisfying enough.


Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:54 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
While he's being a knob, you still want to steal Belle from him. So his paranoia is correct. If you *actually* move on from Belle to pursue someone else he might be happier. Is there any other girls you're going after?

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Sat Jan 27, 2018 4:29 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
While he's being a knob, you still want to steal Belle from him. So his paranoia is correct. If you *actually* move on from Belle to pursue someone else he might be happier. Is there any other girls you're going after?

I’m not after her. I still find her attractive of course, but I am over her in that I find other girls just as attractive. And anyway, it would take two to cheat anyway, and she’s such a good person she wouldn’t cheat with the sexiest man alive. And I am not that.

Maybe she said something to him like “hey I rejected William just for you” or something, and he thinks that she very well could transfer her affection to me. I don’t see that being the case, but he can’t be this pigheaded. He must have a reason for his paranoia. I’ve even told him I don’t think we should be anything but friends.


Sat Jan 27, 2018 8:04 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
I misread your post, I thought you said "We think if she stays friends with me, she'll eventually leave him for me"

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Sat Jan 27, 2018 8:38 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Zwacks. Your mindset is definitely getting worse.

I just don't understand how someone can be very religious and just take glee in someone's depression or failures or hopes that they get worse. That's like joining a circus and saying your talent is sleeping 20 hours a day.

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Sun Jan 28, 2018 12:09 pm
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