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 Second Year of University! 
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
And no it’s not me being gay. I’m not and the situation is quite the opposite actually. But you’ll have to wait for more details.


Sun Oct 22, 2017 3:42 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Just post it, you know you want to

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Sun Oct 22, 2017 8:24 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
Just post it, you know you want to


True. :wacko: :wacko:


Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:41 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm wrote:
I'm so mature now...


You are such a tool.

I'm sorry but who says that. How exactly are you so mature now? You don't have racist thoughts anymore? You can't get laid, you were thrown out of Christian choir for "murky" reasons is being generous. And your roommate hates you. Do you consider being mature reading a newspaper, or you go to every class. Like do you consider Rape bad now? What are you talking about.

Was Zwacks the topic of many #me2 tweets and he got the message

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Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:29 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Thegun wrote:
zwackerm wrote:
I'm so mature now...


You are such a tool.

I'm sorry but who says that. How exactly are you so mature now? You don't have racist thoughts anymore? You can't get laid, you were thrown out of Christian choir for "murky" reasons is being generous. And your roommate hates you. Do you consider being mature reading a newspaper, or you go to every class. Like do you consider Rape bad now? What are you talking about.

Was Zwacks the topic of many #me2 tweets and he got the message


First of all I was just trying to make a point.

I’ve never been racist.
I was thrown out of Worship team for reasons nothing to do with a lack of maturity
I’ve never said anything about my roommates. That’s right I have 2 now.
I don’t read the newspaper.
I’ve always gone to every class.
I’ve always thought rape was bad.
I think you should go fuck yourself asshole.


Tue Oct 24, 2017 1:53 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm wrote:
Thegun wrote:
zwackerm wrote:
I'm so mature now...


You are such a tool.

I'm sorry but who says that. How exactly are you so mature now? You don't have racist thoughts anymore? You can't get laid, you were thrown out of Christian choir for "murky" reasons is being generous. And your roommate hates you. Do you consider being mature reading a newspaper, or you go to every class. Like do you consider Rape bad now? What are you talking about.

Was Zwacks the topic of many #me2 tweets and he got the message


First of all I was just trying to make a point.

Dear lord

I’ve never been racist. Maybe you aren't, but you are easily the most racist person on the forum
I was thrown out of Worship team for reasons nothing to do with a lack of maturity Didn't say you were, said the reasoning was very vague and murky
I’ve never said anything about my roommates. That’s right I have 2 now. I'm sorry I confused your study group and the random doors you would look through the peephole and listen in on conversations
I don’t read the newspaper. "the"
I’ve always gone to every class. So is that why you are mature now?
I’ve always thought rape was bad. That's a good thought to have
I think you should go fuck yourself asshole. If you just think it, I'm not sure I should, you're not really selling it

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Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:28 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm, being the most racist person on the forum isn't so bad. Wear it as a badge of honour!

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Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:33 pm
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Hold the door!

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Post Re: Second Year of University!
How am I the most racist person on the forum?


Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:07 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Hahaha later today I’m going to tell you all the story of my dramatic semester so get your popcorn ready.


Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:25 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Here it is.

The Tragedy of zwackerm and Belle: Part 1.

When we last left off in the tale of zwackerm's personal life, he had a big crush on his friend Lucy who liked to get naked with her friends in the bathtub, and insisted that it wasn't weird because they had the same equipment. zwackerm soon came to realize that Lucy just wasn't responding well to even being just his friend so zwackerm began to move on.

zwackerm was able to move on because he noticed someone new. Let's call her Belle. zwackerm first met Belle back in November, but he was so into Lucy at this point that he never really noticed Belle until the second semester when her and him and a couple other girls went to study together. zwackerm talked to Belle and he noticed just how beautiful, funny and attractive she was. But then zwackerm found out that Belle had a boyfriend named Jory, so while zwackerm did like her, he sort of suppressed his feelings, but hoped that one day if Belle and Jory did break up that he would be able to date her.

Later on that semester, zwackerm, Belle, and their group of freshman friends all went to formal together, and zwackerm wondered why Jory had not come to escort her. Because Belle's best friend Ariel had her boyfriend Gerald come to escort her. But Belle tells zwackerm that Jory just couldn't make it. This upsets zwackerm very much and he can't understand how Jory could do that to his awesome girlfriend Belle, and zwackerm first realizes he depth of his jealousy of Jory. But he knows that it's horrible to wish for a couple to break up, so zwackerm forces himself to stay hopeful of Lucy, who still gave him no attention and gave no indication of caring to get to know him any better.

Near the end of the semester, Lucy sees zwackerm on the academic quad, and she and her friend Penny apologize to zwackerm for how cliquey they've been all semester and promise that things will be different next semester. Everyone will be friends and zwackerm gets his hope up that Lucy may finally notice him.

As the semester ends, some of zwackerm's friends, including Lucy, Penny and zwackerm's friend Ethan prepare to go on a missions trip together. zwackerm tries to reconnect with his high school friends over the summer, but it doesn't happen. But in the back of his mind, zwackerm prefers Belle to Lucy now and he can't help but think what might happen if Belle and Jory broke up...

End of Part 1


Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:40 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
idk what to think of this.

If you like Lucy so much just ask her out and be done with it. Then you can know if you can be friends or not.

Belle is nothing but rebound if something did happen so that's a lost cause.

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Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:54 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Wait for the rest of the story! Just trying to build suspense! All will make sense in time. There is so much more!

Just know that zwackerm truly does like Belle at this point and Lucy no longer. Belle is the most important character in this story.


Thu Nov 30, 2017 5:03 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
The Tragedy of zwackerm and Belle: Part 2

When the fall semester resumed, zwackerm was excited to be back to school; even though he'd pretty much given up on finding love anytime soon. After the first week of classes, there was an opening barbecue. zwackerm was sad because none of his close friends could make it so he went with a little bit of apprehension. At the barbecue zwackerm stood around awkwardly, engaging occasionally with others but mainly standing by the food table. Eventually, who should walk in but Ariel and Belle. zwackerm goes over to them and they all stand in a big group talking, but eventually it just gets so that zwackerm, Belle and Ariel are talking. zwackerm becomes more emotionally attached, and hates more than every that Belle has a boyfriend named Jory.

A few days later, zwackerm is at the bagel shop alone, and who should walk in again but Ariel and Belle. zwackerm asks to sit with Ariel and Belle, and they say "of course!" zwackerm, Ariel and Belle talk and eat bagels and drink coffee for three hours, talking, laughing and enjoying each others company. zwackerm is more into Belle than he's ever been, and he's delighted to hear about some rough spots in Belle's relationship with Jory. zwackerm doesn't really know, but he figures that the clock on their relationship is ticking.

zwackerm continues to see and hang out with Ariel and Belle all throughout September, and zwackerm dreams of one day being best friends with Ariel while he dates Belle. At the end of September, zwackerm is stalking Belle's relationship status and he sees that she has removed it. Thinking this is funny, zwackerm wonders what it could mean. On Friday, zwackerm sees Belle and she informs him that Jory broke up with her. zwackerm is pretty much on cloud nine for the rest of the weekend.

That tuesday, after October has begun, zwackerm sees Ariel and Belle in the dining hall, and officially asks them to go to dinner for the first time and he gets a pretty emphatic "yes". Later on that day though, it turns out that Ariel has been picked up by her boyfriend Gerald to go somewhere and only Belle is available to go to dinner with him. She says yes, and they have a great time on their first platonic date of sorts.

zwackerm asks Belle and Ariel to lunch a few more times over October, and every time zwackerm looks for hints that Belle does not like him, but finds nothing but light in her eyes and smiling and her not caring when he says or does stupid things in front of her. zwackerm thinks he's finally found someone who really likes him for him.

At the end of October, following church zwackerm, Ariel, Belle, zwackerm's friend Mario and a few others head to brunch. zwackerm is really hinting heavily to Belle now that he likes her. And he notices something sort of click in her, as she begins to ask some pretty probing questions about his motives for some of the things he's said and done. zwackerm knows next time he sees her, things will have changed.

At dinner on Wednesday, zwackerm arrives to find himself alone with Belle as everyone else has gotten up to get food. And Belle chooses this moment to drop the bomb "hey zwackerm, I've been told that you may have a bit of a crush on me, and I'd like you to know that I just see us as friends." zwackerm denies that he ever liked her, but Belle sees straight through this and everyone comes back to see zwackerm staring at his food, looking sullen. zwackerm wants to leave but he's hungry and agreed to attend the freshman cru dinner to spur community among them. So he simply goes to the other room and texts Belle "we need to talk after cru". She replies "okay".

It does not go well. zwackerm is beyond hurt and feels led on, but Belle really shows no remorse. She makes it incredibly clear to zwackerm that she is not interested, and never will be, and not just because she isn't over Jory. But because "we don't have that much in common!" and "I just see you as a friend". They get nowhere fast and after 30 minutes of unproductive chatter, zwackerm and Belle part ways for the night. zwackerm storms off, wanting to be alone, and ignores his friend Jared's desire to be with him during this hard time.

The next day, zwackerm's friend Mario cancels their weekly breakfast at the bagel shop, but zwackerm goes anyway in vain to try and study for his philosophy exam. Eventually, who should walk in but Belle, but she sees zwackerm and storms away. zwackerm's friend Mario eventually shows up along with zwackerm's friend Isaiah, and talking to them about it makes him feel better, after class, he talks to his mentor Mike and his sister Lydia and each conversation makes him feel better. After his 2:00 class, zwackerm heads home not feeling well, but feeling better. He takes a shower and he opens his phone only to see a text from Ariel. She says she wants to talk to him about Belle, and zwackerm agrees. They have a nice chat about things and zwackerm is glad that Ariel doesn't hate him too.

That night at Bible study, zwackerm gets a text from who but Belle saying she's willing to talk again this time with Ariel as a moderator. zwackerm agrees, and the next morning, Ariel, Belle and zwackerm set zwackerm's mind more at ease. He thinks he gets more of a idea as to why Belle doesn't like him, and understands the situation more. They part ways, promising to be friends, but zwackerm doesn't quite believe Belle wants that and he fears more drama is to come in the future...

End of Part 2


Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:33 pm
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Hold the door!

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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Gamaur wrote:
Are you still looking for feedback dude, or just sharing? I've written some, but it might be a bit redundant if there's more to come.


Sharing for now. After the end of the story, feedback would be good.


Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:34 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Skip Belle. She annoying

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Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:04 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
She doesn't like you. Move on.

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Fri Dec 01, 2017 10:46 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
I would think you are experimenting on a creative writing course. But HOLY SHIT, could you stop putting yourself in the the third person. Can't you just say "I" You sound like a fucking moron cause you do it in almost every sentence.

This is horrible writing. That was a story worth a simple paragraph at tops. It took me 3 days to even stomach part 1. I just looked and Part 2 is almost twice as long. And He's using Disney names is just vomit inducing.

Is there a part 3 where he meets Aladdin and finds his magic lamp and starts rubbing it? Is Part 2 any better? It looks really long!

Even without reading. Belle has boyfriend troubles, Zwacks never makes a movie, and they call him a creep.

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Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:04 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
I haven't even bothered to start Part 1 yet.


Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:23 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Love zwackerm is referring to himself in the 3rd person.

And I enjoyed reading this...but I'm just left wondering a little bit, is there any point? Will there be a part 3?


Sat Dec 02, 2017 11:37 am
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
He has to complete the trilogy!


Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:33 pm
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Hold the door!

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Post Re: Second Year of University!
There may even be a two part finale.


Sat Dec 02, 2017 5:30 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Splitting the last book into two films?

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Sat Dec 02, 2017 7:50 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Shack wrote:
Splitting the last book into two films?

Yeah why not exploit it mercilessly? I plan to post the final chapter part 1 before bed tonight.

And the third person thing is because it’s a story!


Sat Dec 02, 2017 9:04 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
Gamaur wrote:
zwackerm wrote:
And the third person thing is because it’s a story!


It'll read a bit smoother if you reference yourself with pronouns (he, his, him) more often. Repeating proper nouns (names) can get in the way of reading rhythm and detract from the story.

Why tell it that way, out of curiosity? It reads more like some weird PC variety of literotica, than stuff you're personally invested in.

Because when I was telling my family over thanksgiving, I thought the story read like a play, with a few central locations (the bagel shop, the dining hall) and each time something significant happened it felt like a scene ended.


Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:57 pm
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Post Re: Second Year of University!
zwackerm wrote:
feedback would be good.


I think it would ground the story more if the main character were to be called by his real name, not his online nickname, unless the story was about his online life.


Sat Dec 02, 2017 10:58 pm
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