Touché. That was funny.

There are moments when I feel alright and others that are downright suffocating, which is basically every time the realization hits me that I might never be with this person again.

I think you need to be really careful.

From what I'm reading, she has emotionally checked out of your relationship (obvious with the, you know, break-up), but she's still comfortable in your old patterns. She's comfortable with you, and the support she's used to. But that doesn't mean she's on the path to getting back together. It feels more like the opposite.

A few years ago my dad died. He had a major heart attack in April. His health deteriorated through the year, and by the end of November he was gone. In the middle of November, he had a moment -- not a long moment, but a moment -- where he felt like himself again. He felt good. And when that moment was over, his health declined so quickly that he was dead two weeks later.

Based on your description of her actions, that's what this feels like to me. These are the last moments where she's comfortable, before pulling away completely. So just be ready for that. Don't double-down on the possibility of reconciliation.

R.I.P. Lecter's Girlfriend

Seriously. You should probably have her see a doctor!

I laughed.

ABANDON SHIP

@The Dark Shape

I think you need to be really careful.

From what I'm reading, she has emotionally checked out of your relationship (obvious with the, you know, break-up), but she's still comfortable in your old patterns. She's comfortable with you, and the support she's used to. But that doesn't mean she's on the path to getting back together. It feels more like the opposite.

A few years ago Dexter ended up with him as a lumberjack. It jumped the shark in season 6 and by the end of season 8 he was a lumberjack. In the 7th season, it had a moment -- not a long moment, but a moment -- when it felt like itself again. Yvonne Strahovski injected new life into the series. It felt good. And when that season was over, in the next one it declined so quickly that Harrison was falling on treadmills and he was a lumberjack by the end of it.

Based on your description of her actions, that's what this feels like to me. These are the last moments where she's comfortable, before pulling away completely. So just be ready for that. Don't double-down on the possibility of reconciliation.

Jesus, the conversation took a morbid and a funny turn at the same time.

The one thing I am not sure where it is coming from is her being comfortable with the support she's used to. Because given that she'd prefer not to see me at the moment, she is neither very comfortable nor getting much support from me.

This isn't the first (or second) break-up in my lifetime and I have never held out hope for as long as this time. Mainly because the other cases were either very clear cut (other guy) or because I quickly realized that this was definitely for the best. Make no mistake, I gave been thinking long and hard about this relationship and my course of action. Pondered the possibility that I might be better off and that we might not fit as much as I thought we did - to no avail. The feelings are there and I am convinced that we shared much, much more good and happiness than she remembers now. And even though I have been in happy, loving relationships before, she is the first one, I'd consider a real soulmate. I even made a list of things that bother me or annoy me about her, but in the end, not that much came together and nothing that is even close to being a deal-breaker. I might be seeing it differently if the relationship had declined steadily before that in my eyes (something I have experienced in the past). But this truly, really came out of nowhere this time. No warning signs, nothing. And anytime I mention that to her and how implausiable and rash her decision seem, she doesn't even try to explain or say something about it and simply breaks out in tears.

You're Joseph Gordon Levitt, she's Zooey Deschanel.

She isn't a MPDG.

YOU DON'T KNOW

I've been doing alright for ten days, but since yesterday I feel like shit. Two weeks will soon run out...

Thing is: how do you prepare for that?

You have to understand that reality is things with her will - never - be as they were before. She is different as is the situation. You must train yourself to think of her as any other normal person and disassociate all the roles (both now, and in the future) you had given her in your life.

Take some "me" time while you fully digest that. Get drunk with the mates, hit up the gym...I have advised my boys to take anywhere from 30 to 90 days to strictly focus on something in their life they want to achieve that they think will better themselves.

Know this to be true: you and you alone control your state of mind. If you wish as blindly happy as you did with her, you need to get back to dating once your done taking a little "me" time.

So, have you been going to the gym more since the break-up?

No. But a friend is taking me bouldering tomorrow (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bouldering), something he has been passionate about for a while and thinks might distract me. Also, the whole talk about pencak silat inspired me to sign up again, I'll be going starting next week.

Which is obviously what I will do, when I have given up. As of now, I simply have not. None of my previous break-ups has been this sudden and incomprehensible, so, yeah, until I figure out what the fuck happened and why it cannot be salvaged, I am still in for it.

Doesn't seem so hard to explain to me. It sounds like she wasn't emotionally fulfilled.

You're not the right one for her because she isn't happy or fulfilled. She had that realization. That is what happened.

You not being right for her automatically mean she is not right for you. There would have inevitably been problems. It's a simple fact of life that people are often not near as special as they think of themselves or someone else. Believe me. She can be replaced.

That would be true, except that by her own admissions she was fulfilled for the vast part of the last five years and as recent as two months ago. So, yeah, no, the explanation that it all crumbled within weeks doesn't work for me.

If it works for her, then that's the explanation.

People change. And, sadly, people lie to themselves. She is not lying now.